Until we are reminded

It is the week to celebrate the independence of this country, our freedoms and our opportunities.  Because of the sacrifices of so many people over the course of American history, we have the freedom to express ourselves, experience the transformation from naïve ideals to more life experience that inform our world-views.  We have the freedom to choose so many things that many other people do not—from education to jobs, from travel to foods, from religion to media.  To comprehend that all these choices, these freedoms, these opportunities come from the sacrifices, innovations and infrastructures of people before us and the innovators of today is of monumental impact.  So often we take it all for granted.  Until we are reminded.  Until we know people who have lived in refugee camps who have risked it all to have even a fraction of the freedom we have.  Until we see a flag draped casket or drive past a national cemetery or listen to the lonely bugler play “Taps” at a funeral.  Until we receive a wedding invitation from a couple who have waited decades to be married.  Until we witness the ordination of the first Hmong Episcopal priest in the world.  Until we listen to the stories of soldiers, of immigrants, of hope and of risk.  

Dear Holy One, be with us as we shoot fireworks into the air, eat picnic foods, gather with friends and relatives to celebrate living in America.  Ground us, even as we “ooo” and “ahhh” as colors burst in the sky, to understand all the effort that was offered for this freedom.  Thank you for these reminders.  Amen. 

Clybourne Park

Some hard observations tonight about race and how we, as humans, mismanage our words while trying to develop relationships.  We try, all of us, to make ‘politically correct’ statements, to not alienate others, to keep our fears to ourselves, but we cannot.  We all bring our ‘social locations’ to every conversation we participate in.  We bring all our baggage and our experiences—those good and those that were not so good—and try to be in community with people who look or act differently.  We tell jokes that marginalize and put others down.  We describe others by race, creed, ability and sexuality.  We try to be inclusive and open minded, but, in reality, we fail; at least those of us who are over 25 years old seem to fail. Our kids are our hope.  Our kids, who have been exposed to many cultures, colors and traditions, who eat together and talk together and who, often, do not know of the segregation we older folks have experienced. 

We saw the Clybourne Park at the Guthrie tonight and left with some harsh realities that we have not come as far as we think we have regarding race.  Jeff and I cannot change the reality that we grew up in “white bread” communities, where people of color were extremely rare and where neighborhoods were still segregated, for whatever reason.  How are we still complicit in perpetuating discrimination?  And more important, how can we change the attitude of discrimination?  These are big questions, and watching this play, opened wide the conversation for us, probing us and making us take good long looks in the mirror.

Dear God of All, you put creative ideas in the minds of artists that provoke the rest of us.  We are challenged by the ideas that should not even be issues.  Issues of equality:  of race, of gender, of sexuality, are often subjects of various works of literature and art, and they poke us and send us seeking our deepest fears, driving them to the uncomfortable surface where we must dissect them to understand who we are and how we need to begin to see the opportunities we have to be instruments of change.  Help us to see in the mirror the image of acceptance, of intolerance towards bigotry and harmful discrimination, and become more open and welcoming to those who, in one way or another, live differently than we do.  Help us find opportunities to sit together and eat, sharing our traditions, our palates, our customs and dining habits that help us learn to become the heavenly family you created.  Amen.

Service with a smile

I’m on the leadership team for our church’s upcoming mission trip.  We will be joining two other West Metro Episcopal churches and another group from one of the eastern states up at Leech Lake to do odd jobs, like painting, for White Earth Reservation enrollees.  When Indians (this is an appropriate title, according to some of the White Earth folks we met last summer) live outside their reservation, it is difficult for them to get some of the services provided if they were living on their reservation, so we will help to provide some of the housing upkeep needs for a week in late July.  My task, with my trusty assistant, is to make sure everyone is fed with healthy food for the week.  It’s a great use of my gifts and talents and I’m really excited to organize menus, grocery lists and do what needs to be done!

I don’t know a few things, however.  Like, what cooking implements are available at the resort where we are going to stay?  We have two large cabins to house the 18 of us from our church, each with a kitchen and supplies.  I’m planning to bring some of my trusty tools to make the prep go more smoothly.  My assistant and I have come up with some unique meal ideas and some fun desserts!  Each morning the troops will get breakfast on their own and then belly up to the “build your own sack lunch” bar.  We’ll have homemade goodies as well as cut up veggies and packable fruits to go with their sandwiches.  Our dinners will include a typical tubular meat and hamburger BBQ, kabobs, walk around tacos, 2 kinds of lasagna and a salad bar with grilled chicken.  One night we think the folks from the tribe will host a meal and one night we’ll eat left overs.  Desserts will include homemade chocolate cake, flan and tiramisu.  I think they will be fed well and maybe spoiled a little bit too!  But they will work hard, so they deserve it!

Dear God, prepare us for the ministry we will be doing at Leech Lake.  Open our hearts and minds and make us willing servants.  Help us use the skills, talents and gifts we each bring, but challenge us to try new things and take risks.  Teach us to work together with people who are new in our lives; create new friendships and bonds that can guide us further in our mission for you.  Keep us light hearted and help us to laugh when under stress.  We trust you, O God, to guide us in this mission field, ever ministering to our individual needs as we open our hearts to minister to others.  Let us be taught by those who we are helping and use us all to be better stewards of our gifts to your glory.  Amen.

Red vestments

Ordination night…not mine…occurred in the chapel at Breck School in Golden Valley.  There were a large number of men and women ordained to the deaconate and to the priesthood.  It was a hot evening.  If there is air conditioning in that chapel, it wasn't turned on.  I can’t imagine having to wear all those vestments.  (Oh.  Wait.)  A couple of women from our church asked if I would (please) be ordained in the winter!  Jeff and I actually left before the Great Thanksgiving because he wasn't feeling well.  (He had too much sun, not enough water and a tummy-upsetting lunch this afternoon.) Though we did not participate in the Communion of the people, we felt very much a part of this holy community.

My prayer for those ordained this evening is for their ministries; that God blesses them as they move into a new path in the ministries they have developed over years; that they go forth without fear, taking holy risks in God’s name; that, if their ministries send them away from where they currently are, their travels will be safe and their new communities will welcome them.  Be with them, dear Lord, as they go forth and do your will.  Amen.

The ties that bind

I am anxiously awaiting the next blog post from Costa Rica.  One of these days, the message will be written by our daughter.  We've seen pictures of her on the blog, and she looks extremely happy, but it will be very nice to get to read her words.  We pray for her and the rest of them often, mostly asking for their safety, often praying for each of them to enjoy their experience and to grow within.  I don’t think these are hard requests to fulfill!

In the meantime, I put together our itinerary for our trip to look at colleges.  Spending the day in front of the computer, calling schools and hotels and mapping the trip was exhausting.  Trying to find good deals, comparing hotels…mom & pop or chain?...isn't as easy as it seems.  And we are trying to make sure that some of the time we are gone we can “vacation” so it doesn't seem like such a rush.  A day in Springfield, IL to meander through Abe Lincoln country, will be one.  Another will be in the Wisconsin Dells, hiking in a park and maybe playing a little in one of the water parks.  It will be a week in the car, but we will try to limit the driving to 4-5 hours on those days we do drive.  I cannot believe that in a year both of our kids will have graduated!

Dear God, prepare us for the changes are happening to our family.  Our kids are growing up, becoming more independent, staying busy with their interests and friends, and so are we.  Be with us as we trim away some of the strings that bind us.  We need you to comfort us as we let go.  Amen.

The ants go marching...

Did you know that teeny tiny ants bite?  Hard?  Especially when you step into their nest?  Where they have a bunch of larvae?  Neither did I.  I was planting in one of our boxes this afternoon and unbeknownst to me, I stood in their nest.  I walked away and was being bitten on my left ankle.  I was shocked to see my shoe covered in ants; but only the left shoe.  I tell you what, those buggers bite hard! 

I had to go back to where I had been standing to see just what it was I had done.  The area was swarming with those little grease or sugar ants that seem to invade the house in the spring.  I poked around a bit to find the nest was full of white larvae—it is unlikely it is their offspring because they were twice the size as the ants.  I don’t like to use chemicals to destroy these things, but this was icky and I’ve been battling with them inside, too.  So I sprinkled the area with cornmeal.  I had heard once that if they ingest it, they will explode as it expands in their systems.  A few hours later I went to look at the nest—and it was covered in ant parts.  Apparently what I read can be verified on Snopes!  At least for those ants.  I also put some on the ant hills of those big black carpenter ants, but I don’t think they are taking the bait.

Of course, the irony in all of this is that our daughter is studying leaf-cutter ants in Costa Rica.  They are trying to figure out how to keep the ants in the ecosystem, even when the ants destroy the cash crops.  Perhaps all they need to do is sprinkle corn meal around the edge of the gardens?

Dear God, the ants were biting, the humidity was sweltering, and I had sweat running into my eyes, but the annuals are planted and providing beauty on our deck and in our gardens.  Sometimes, we have to take the bad with the good to fully appreciate the gifts within creation.  A few notes of particular thanks tonight, Lord.  Thank you for the two successful surgeries I was praying for.  Thank you for the many hands which worked together to finish clearing the debris left from the storm.  Thank you for restoring electricity to a few more homes and businesses today.  To you be the glory!  Amen.

It was a good event!

I don’t begin to understand all that Jeff does for our business.  Today, after months of preparation there was an event that he and his team coordinated that brought legislators, county commissioners, local elected officials, Chamber presidents and other business leaders and interested residents to listen to a panel of four Twin Cities transit and development experts.  The key note speaker was the CEO of the Cleveland Regional Transit Administration, who spoke about bus rapid transit.  The Gateway Corridor Commission hired Jeff Dehler Public Relations to do community engagement for their project.  Members of the commission were pleased with the results of the event.  

This is only one project.  Jeff works long hours for our business and then puts in many hours on the boards of the Golden Valley Rotary and our church, in addition to other civic organizations.  He is well respected and well known in many circles.  He lives by the Rotary’s 4-Way Test (1. Is it the truth?  2.  Is it fair to all concerned?  3.  Will it build good will and better friendships? And 4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?).  

God, you have given me this incredible, honest, hard-working man who is devoted to so many people and projects and to you.  He gives so much of himself.  Please help him to find good people to business with and for; organizations that will respect his time and efforts; balance between work and friends/family.  Bless him.  Keep him healthy.  Remind him that he is loved and respected.  Amen.

(For more information about our business, go to jeffdehlerpr.weebly.com )

Dependence

It takes losing something to really understand its power over you.  The loss of electricity, the loss of cable television, land line phone service and internet access each teach us how much we depend on the utilities.  One person wrote they would never have made it in the pre-electricity days.  I commented that if we didn't know any different, it would not be difficult.  Let’s face it.  We have it pretty easy.  We can communicate nearly instantaneously with people all around the world.  We have access to emergency services with a quick phone call.  The cries for generators and freezer space, air conditioning and an outlet to plug in a cell phone are loud.  Someone told me today that Cub was allowing folks to charge their phones while they shopped, even though Cub had limited power. 

Tonight, the moon is full and large and bright.  And we can see him because the clouds have cleared, at least for now.  We soon will cast shadows by its light.  A phenomenon that rarely occurs, especially in the bright city.  Many have lit candles to provide at least a little light in the darkness.  Not much to see by, but I bet quite a few people pulled out the old Scrabble board and had a game night by candlelight. 

Right now, at 10:40 p.m., we have no Comcast services, so I cannot post this.  It means that I won’t be figuratively chained to this machine and will go to bed at a reasonable time.  It meant that I accomplished a couple tasks I've been neglecting.  It means that I’m not so distracted by other media and can focus on what I’m writing tonight.  I have no idea when I will be able to post it, but that’s okay.  The blog will still be there.
 

It’s other things that are more concerning, like paying bills online, or making sure our parents know to call on our cell phones rather than land line; things that have deadlines or relationships that rely on access by phone.  But, all in all, the quiet is nice.  If there was no power here tonight I would be concerned about the food, but the soft candlelight would also be appealing, and soothing. 

Dear All-Powerful One.  Again the access to utilities is limited, rendering many of us powerless in some ways and powerful in others.  The power that is within us has the opportunity to shine through us in our giving of ourselves in ways that are not typical, or perhaps are even more our true selves, and we are learning more about ourselves, our level of patience and our resiliency.  A not-so-gentle reminder that we can only control so much, and it is in you we must put our trust.  Amen.

Wood chips and branches from trees

I think I will be able to sleep well tonight.  After all the debris clearing and a grad party, I’m pretty tired.  We have some things to be very thankful for after the last two storms.  We have power.  The tree did not fall on anything but the ground.  We have great neighbors.  We have wonderful friends.  Hopefully, the incoming storm will be so kind.  Hopefully all those who have lost power, some on the next street over, will not have to wait until the predicted Wednesday to have it restored.  

O Heavenly Father, please be with those who have had more to contend with than we have.  Please limit the damage with tonight’s storm.  Help us all be good neighbors.  Thank you for the reminder that we do not have control.  Bring us to acceptance of our limitations and guide us as we let go and give it to you.  Thank you for keeping us safe and whole.  Amen.

When a neighborhood comes together...

Tonight we had the second big storm in the past 24 hours.  Overnight we had one come through that made us powerless at 3:30 a.m. and powerful again at 11:15 a.m.  I slept soundly through it all.  This evening another storm came through, the power teased us with blips of off, but it remained on.  Jeff had just come in from an 8 mile run and was going to go do a cool down walk when the storm hit.  It was like a tropical storm where the rain was horizontal and so fast that no drops could be seen.  The wind was so hard it dropped a branch from our tree as I watched out the front door.  Shortly after there was a massive crack and about 5 minutes later, as I watched from the door, half of our maple tree crashed to the ground.  This tree had five trunks when we moved in here 14 years ago next week.  It was down to four.  Now there are two. The leaves on this tree would turn crimson in the fall, and, according to one of the neighbors, when it was crimson, they knew it was time to go fishing. 

I looked at Ray and nearly cried when the tree was on the ground.  Erin was hoping to have senior pictures taken within the trunks of that tree.  She won’t even know about it until she returns on the 30^th.  It fell into the street, but did not hit any signs or lines.  But it was blocking the road, trapping all of us in the cul de sac.  The rain fell for a while longer, giving us time to finish eating dinner.  Then, it stopped.  We wandered out into the yard and saw that the neighbor across the street had a huge branch drop into his driveway, but he was not home, so his truck was not hit.  At the end of the cul de sac, another neighbor had a tree drop into his driveway and hit his truck.  Another had a branch break a window in one of the cars.  People started venturing out of their homes to survey the damage.  A young man who is dog sitting at one of the neighbors offered to help.  A friend of Ray’s came over to help.  A new neighbor we hadn't yet met walked over and then went to get his chain saw.  All in all, the neighborhood was a buzz.  The trees were removed as much as was possible in the dark.  A neighborhood pulled together, with new neighbors some of the first to come to help.  Tomorrow, the work will have to continue.  Hopefully, the storm that is still expected to hit later tonight will spare our little neighborhood.

Dear God of Hospitality, Thank you for showing us the value of neighbors.  We had to come together to accomplish so much in so little time.  The commitment for tomorrow morning and overwhelming willingness to work with one another is a great representation of community.  When a neighborhood comes together.We’ve lived here for so long and have never had this kind of damage that brought us all out of our homes with open arms, willing to help.  In the midst of destruction, we learned that we truly can be a community.  Thank you for this gift.  Amen.

Yea, I'm "That Mom"

Okay.  I’ll admit it.  I cried a little bit today.  I had to finally let out some of my anxiety about the trip.  Saying, “Bye!  Have fun!  I’m really proud of you!  Stay safe!  God’s blessing!” at 4 a.m. was just the beginning.  I tried to keep the tears in while I hugged our girl, and I was pretty successful, but I think she saw the dampness in my eyes anyway.  I thought I’d be okay, but when I was listening to the radio when I woke up at 11:00 (I hadn't gone to bed until we got home about 5) I heard news of a tropical storm in the Gulf of Mexico that was wreaking havoc on the Mexico coastal cities.  So, as any good mom would do, I checked the Delta website to see if the plane had landed yet…and kept checking until I left for school at 12:30.  It didn't make sense—the flight time from Atlanta said just under four hours, but the expected arrival time was 11:30.  They left Atlanta sometime in the 9:00 hour. 

Intellectually, I knew that there was a typo of some sort on the Delta site.  But when I got to school, and we began the intercessory prayers during Morning Prayer and one of my friends mentioned Erin and the trip, the tears started to flow.  They didn't stop.  I did not want to be “that mom” but, darnit!  I wanted to know that the plane had landed.  Thankfully, my fellow classmates understood, perhaps because they are all moms.   

But I’m still a little anxious, waiting to read the first blog post, ensuring their safe arrival.  And, it’s a little strange when neither child is home for dinner.  It’s a taste of an empty nest, yes.  It reminds us that our lives cannot revolve around our children and that our relationship will need adjusting when the kids are really on their own.  The reality that there will be a time, coming very soon, when we won’t know what’s going on in their lives as much as we do now.  I should expect this, but it happens so much more quickly than I thought it would.  There is some time in the next year, before Erin moves on to college, to prepare, but I don’t think, emotionally, that this is going to be easy.

Perhaps tomorrow I won’t be so transparent, emotional or anxious.

 

Dear Lord of All, thank you for my friends who are praying for Erin and for me as this journey commences.  Knowing that they are caring for us, lifting us, strengthening us through their prayers is an immeasurable gift.  Knowing that you are hearing the prayers, keeping the students safe, the parents sane and the hearts, minds and souls open, is such a comfort to me.  Occupy us all with the tasks at hand, ever mindful of the innumerable gifts we have.  Help us to pay attention to the needs of others and guide us to do good things.  To you, our strength and our redeemer.  Amen.

Heading to the airport at three in the morning

Dear Lord, Please be with all the youth, teachers, scientists and hosts as they journey together these next 11 days.  Keep them safe.  Open their minds.  Broaden their experiences.  Teach them to reach farther, higher and deeper.  Keep them safe.  Be with those of us who are letting them go a little more each day.  Help us to stand back and watch at times and at others, hold them close in an embrace.  Keep the love strong.  Bring us back together again with stories, experiences and pictures.  Help us to trust the program, the leaders and the students to make good decisions.  In you, dear God, we trust and put our faith.  Amen.

Cut Flowers

Why is it that just when the irises are at their peak the wind picks up and the rain falls, knocking them to the ground, bending their stems to the point of no return?  Perhaps it is because then they need to be cut and brought into the house where they will be enjoyed more often.  

Dear Giver of all things, you are in the bright blooming trees and flowers and in the winds and rain that remove the color, petals and stems.  You give your human family the gift of spectrum, of cycle, of perspective.  Help us to notice the ebbs and flows, the floods and the droughts, the noise and the silence so that we may be able to discern the benefits within it all.  Let us grow and guide us through the way we understand and accept the spectrum.  Amen.

Preparing for Her Journey

I take a deep breath and quickly blow it out.  There may be a bit of exasperation in that action, or it could be a need for a quick mental cleansing.  Either way, I refocus a bit and try to center my thoughts.  What to pray about tonight?  The most prominent thing is this upcoming trip our daughter will be embarking on this Thursday.  Though Costa Rica isn't really overseas, it is traveling abroad by plane and by bus or van into the rain forest and then to the dry forest.  The opportunity to do research that could impact our future is an exciting prospect!  Strengthening and developing relationships with fellow students will be important.  Growing into her future—or at least beginning to understand what she may or may not want to do or become in her future will be uppermost in her mind.  As the mom, I have many people asking if I’m nervous about her leaving.  If this was her first trip away, traveling by plane, I may say 'yes.'  But I think I’m more envious of the opportunity to go someplace I would never have gone at age 17.  I’m excited for her, and yes, I’ll worry, pray and miss her while she is gone.  At the same time I will strongly desire to know what she is learning about ants, people and herself on this journey.  Perhaps I will get a sampling each day in the blog the students will contribute to each day, but I suspect I will have to wait for the pictures and stories when she returns. 

Dear God, please be with these students as they prepare in these next few days to take a journey into their futures.  Guide their paths, keep them safe, help them find joy and prepare them for the many opportunities to learn.  Open their eyes to the beauty of creation and the wonder of it all.  Fill them with memories.  Remind them that they are loved beyond measure by those who will wait for their return.  Amen.

Father's Day

I was just about to start the grill on this gorgeous day and the wind picked up and there were sprinkles dropping down.  But, as it is Father’s Day, I marched onward, started the grill and proceeded to cook boneless beef ribs, turning them every three minutes.  I didn't get to make them for my dad, but they were for my husband, whose dinner prayer was a thanksgiving for our two kids and how they are the most important people in his life (under his breath he included me!!).  Brought tears to my eyes.  

Fatherhood has been a marathon for him, trying very hard to support our decision that one of us stay at home to parent, allowing me to do that while he would work long hours.  He would take care of the kids when they were little, while I would go out and do my Tupperware business.  We never considered it ‘babysitting.’  We considered it ‘parenting’ and he values the opportunity to have developed relationships with each of the kids.  

My dad would tell us that he never changed a diaper and he didn't get married to cook, but he has individual relationships with my brothers and me, having taught us each different things and helping us develop our identities as child, sibling, friend and more.  My dad traveled frequently for his work so he wasn't home all the time.  Mom had to make decisions and teach us in her own way, parenting, often, with the help of one of our neighbors.  I get to spend more time with just my dad now when he comes to stay with us a few times a year.  I have to coordinate special times with my mom to have alone time with her.  

Not everyone has good relationships with their father.  It makes it hard to personify God in a father role when that relationship has either been missing or has been challenging.  So when I spend time here, writing each day, I try to give God many different titles, because God is so much more than this.  But today, I wish to address God as Father because, for me, God has that role, and it is one which comforts and strengthens me, just like my Dad has done for me.  

Dear Father in Heaven, fatherhood is a complex responsibility.  Balancing all the different kinds of relationships, personalities and responsibilities keeps Dads occupied.  They teach, admonish, guide, support and love those who look to them as paternal figures in their lives; those relationships are not always born of blood, but of opportunity.  Be with the men in this world who are dads, whether that was their choice or not.  Help those men who are separated from their children for a variety of reasons.  Surround those dads who are alone on days like today with love.  Thank you for the dads in my life, those who helped to parent me and those who help to parent our children, especially my husband, my father and my father-in-law (may he rest in peace).  Amen.

Reflections on the day

It’s about time for a late night walk around the block.  The air is cool and the night insects are making noise.  The June bugs have been clinging to screens.  The rain this afternoon beat loudly on the roof of Target while I was shopping, and, perhaps, lingering before attempting to get out to the car.  We worked on lists, ironically, today.  Planning what needs to get done and packed.  I’m thankful for this time with our daughter.  We had lunch out, got our hair cut and shopped, too.  Moments to cherish and add to the list of things to be thankful for!  Tonight I pray for my friend who has tumors in her lungs that have grown.  I pray for healing of mind, body and spirit; for grace to understand and make good choices regarding treatments, especially when some of them seem counter intuitive.  I am thankful for this friendship—in her trust in me to walk this road with her, however that can happen.  I give this petition to our God, the one who heals in miraculous and mysterious ways.  Amen.

A Never-ending List

Things to be thankful for:  friends coming over for dinner; a nice breeze and no rain while we ate on the deck; young people coming over to hang out around the fire pit; a prayerful, praiseful, peaceful evensong; rhubarb; smores; less expensive gas; tomorrow’s haircut; fresh fruit; cats; birdsongs; the beginning of a night of rain; aging parents; children; good books; education; love; laughter; hugs and kisses.  The list could go on and on, and Lord, you know there are so many things we can call blessings.  Though I am swatting at mosquitoes, I am even thankful for them because it means our summer will soon begin, that we are no longer experiencing drought and that the grass will need to be mowed—providing a little jingle in the pockets of one of our kids.  Thank you for giving us so many ways to see the good in creation!  Amen.

What time is it?

It’s a new day…the hour hand has moved into Friday, and I don’t think I’m done with Thursday, yet.  The movement from day to day seems to blur each night when sleeping doesn't begin until after the new day has begun.  We are night-owls around here, but that doesn't work well for all of us all the time.  The sunlight sneaks into our lower level bedroom at its break and, though I can usually sleep through it, Jeff cannot.  

Dear God of day and night, we fill our waking hours to overflowing and we do not sleep as long as we need or want, but you are with us, protecting us in our weariness.  Help us to become better stewards of our own sleep habits.  Amen.

Twins Win!

We went to the game this evening.  We double dated with my sister-in-law.  Her friend gave us the tickets at the left field line at row 25.  I don’t think I've ever sat that close.  Not sure I would again.  Too many balls are hit foul along that line and tonight an elderly gentleman was trying to catch one, but it caught him, full force, above the eye instead.  He went down, in what seemed like slow motion, his lady companion trying to ease him down.  Fans called for help, ushers came down, a beer vendor came over with his tray and put ice into a bandana from a fan, and first aid team came rushing down.  Walkie talkies, concerned faces, and no movement was cause for alarm.  When the man was able to sit up we saw that he also hit his head, gashing it as well.  The fan that retrieved the ball brought it down to the man and we cheered.  We cheered for the helpers, we cheered for the man.  He was shaky when they led him up to what I suspect was a waiting ambulance.  

O Heavenly Healer, be with the injured Twins fan, his companion and all who were really close to the incident.  Be with those who came to his aid, those trained and those who were able to use common sense for his benefit.  Heal all who were afflicted by this incident—keep their dreams pure this night.  Bless all who are able to help, support and show mercy.  Amen.

Windows to the World

There is a sliver of a moon in the sky tonight, and from the deck I can see a few stars.  The clouds still look bright in the sky and for now, they are puffy.  The breeze is cool so the windows are open wide to bring in the night air along with the sounds of traffic and frogs.  The lazy nights of late spring, when the light stretches as the solstice approaches.  It would be a nice night for a fire in the ring next to the house, surrounded with friends, conversation and laughter.  Unfortunately, it is Tuesday and work still needs to be done, books still need to be read, so we all sit in front of our glowing windows to the world, the warmth of the motors battling with the cool breeze through the other windows.  

Dear God of all, we are distracted by the call from the windows that surround us.  Help us to decipher which window should bring us the most joy and let us act accordingly.  And then, let us go back to the work that still needs to be done…for a little while longer.  Help us to set aside those things that could not be accomplished in this day so that when we climb between the cool sheets and lay our heads on our soft but firm pillows we are able to fully rest.  These gifts we ask in your holy name.  Amen.   

Growing...daily

I've been writing these prayers now since October.  Over 34,000 words; since the end of April, over 1000 blog views; over 60 pages of thoughts, expressions, poetry, “sermons,” laments, whines, joys, sorrows, and, you name it.  And yet, I never put together the liturgy for a worship service until today.  I am assigned Morning Prayer for my Episcopal Worship class tomorrow.  I’m assigned Evening Prayer on Friday.  I’m learning how to find what is needed to complete the liturgy based on days of the week, Saints, hours of the day, etc., etc.  I’m learning that the Book of Common Prayer is the most comprehensive place to learn about Episcopal theology.  I’m learning that these many, many words I have been writing and praying and sharing are the intercessory prayers necessary to bring my relationship with God closer to me, and that, even though these are my words (though many are collective prayers for anyone to use), they are only a part of the daily worship I need to be fulfilled.  Once I've digested all the lectures and training and worshiping I will complete the end of next week, I will need to decide what to do with it all.  Will I become more faithful to daily worship as well as these prayers?  How will I bring this commitment into my life?  Will it change the way I view the world and my relationships with it and with God?  Hefty questions that will need prayerful consideration. 

O Heavenly Spirit, be with me as I fill my heart, mind and soul with all that I need to learn to be in communion with you and with those around me.  Use me to teach what I know and am learning.  Guide my thoughts as I seek clarity in the many words and experiences that lead me closer and closer to you.  Amen. 

Keeping the Sabbath

I am finding the importance of finding moments of Sabbath in each day because finding a whole day to devote to Sabbath rest just does not seem like a realistic goal at this time in my life.  Seeking out time within the mad rush of life is one way to approach Sabbath.  Another is to look back upon the day to see where these moments occurred, with or without active knowledge.  Sure, Sabbath is taking a break from the monotony or busy-ness or business of living life, but it does not mean sitting in the still silence—at least not always.  For me, cooking and baking can be forms of Sabbath.  A nap, some quiet time doing something with or without anyone that brings me joy or meditation or peace may also be a form of Sabbath.  It is often more a mindset for me.  Sensing peacefulness within my being, breathing calmly and focusing on all that is good in my life can often fill me more completely than taking a day without doing anything (though I like those too!).

  

Oh Giver of Sabbath, help me to remember that you are present and available always to join with me in moments, hours or days of Sabbath.  Keep me mindful, as I go through my days, especially those days that cause doubts and fears and longings, that in you I can find peace.  Amen.

Just what I needed!

After yesterday’s whine about making good choices…I was able to meet one of my college (and pre-marriage) roommates for coffee this morning.  It moved to lunch, too.  Her life is changing rather dramatically and we haven’t had a lot of time together in quite some time.  We were able to catch up, neither of us anxious about time or our to-do lists that would still be waiting after our time together.  I believe this was one of those God-moments (hours) where we were walking on the holy ground of friendship.  It was holy time, it was supposed to be and it was the length of time it was supposed to be.  Sure, I did not make it to any of the other celebrations of the day, but I was at the one celebration that was most important, and that made all the difference. 

God, friendships are reminders of the relationship we can have with you.  Sometimes we don’t get to have a lot of time, but when we do we jump in as if time stood still.  Other times we are closely engaged with one another, intimately bound in one another’s daily journey.  When we focus on any relationship, we are given a gift.  Thank you for our special friends.  Amen.

Making Choices

I wrote earlier in the week that I would keep my head above water these three weeks of an intensive class.  Today was the last day of the first week.  I’m exhausted.  I’m weary.  I’m a bit overwhelmed.  The weekend is filled with many invitations to celebrate and be with people.  I feel like I want everyone in our household to leave me home alone to do the things I need to do, for school, for home, for work, for them; but at the same time, I feel like I need to be a part of the world around me, living, learning and being.  So I will go to sleep and meet a friend for coffee in the morning.  Be in each moment, and be okay with what I choose to do and not do, because whatever I choose, I am doing the right thing.

Dear Holy Comforter, making choices that disappoint some for the benefit of others is one of the most difficult things we all must do.  The ability to balance often needs divine assistance.  I ask you, oh Father, to guide my choices and give understanding hearts, minds and thoughts to those who will receive less while others receive more.  Ease my thoughts and heart as well, comforting me as I do the best I can to make the right choices.  Amen.

Hope

I was reading this morning from the book, A Pilgrim People by John H. Westerhoff III about the Nativity narrative.  He wrote, “We need to focus on the good.  The problem of evil that most of us worry about may be the wrong problem.  The really difficult problem is not why there is any evil, but why there is any good in the world.  That small flicker of good is the Christmas mystery, the mystery of possibility that might grasp us if we don’t surrender to secular celebrations of Christmas and escapist rituals that can creep into even the holy dark of midnight Eucharist or the holy light of Eucharist at dawn.”  (p. 54).

I have quite a few people comment about the way I see the world: that the picture is often incomplete, that people are more than what is happening in the moment; that there either has been or is good in everything—it just depends how we perceive it.  Westerhoff goes on to say “The impossible possibility, God is always entering our lives and our world to deliver and to save us.  The problem is in our perceiving; our faith is fragile.  It needs to be refreshed…” (p. 55). This is the way I see the world, my faith, my understanding when things are so messed up and hard to comprehend:  God is ever with us, holding us gently when we do not go gently.

Oh Savior of the world, help me to always try to find the good in life, even when it seems the world around me is struggling with the evils that persist in the world.  Let me be a light in the darkness, celebrating your presence in the midst of it all.  Hold us, rock us, soothe us through all this life, in all things, whispering the words of hope and love that will bring us closer to you.  Amen. 

Relationships

It’s the last day of school in our school district.  Tomorrow, graduates will receive their diplomas and begin their lives as adults.  Though we do not have any graduating from our house this year, we know a number of young people who are moving forward with their hopes and dreams into unknown futures.  They are speculating about what their first careers will be and preparing to move into the next phase of their education.  In reality, we are always learning.  Education continues as we experience life.  Most learning does not come from textbooks, though they certainly help, but from navigating relationships. 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for relationships and all they teach us about ourselves, one another and you.  Be with us as we experience the breadth and depth of relationships, learning that each one, no matter how long, impacts who we are and who we will become.  Guide our words and actions and help us to find relationships that will help us understand the breadth and depth of our relationship with you.  Amen.

Generosity

A couple months ago we sent out about 280 letters asking for help to fund our daughter’s trip to Costa Rica to study leaf cutter ants.  She needed to raise $3300 for the trip.  I was expecting that the letters would result in about $2000 of help.  The generosity of people is amazing!  She has exceeded the amount she needed with the help of a couple other fundraisers.  The excess monies will go toward the marching band trip she will be taking to Orlando in over winter break, where they will be working with people who do the score for a film as well as (hopefully) marching at some of the parks. 

I learned a long time ago that if you don’t ask, the answer is automatically “No.”  Sending these letters out was a risk for us.  What we learned is that we are loved.  That people want to give money for significant, educational experiences.  That people want to support unique learning opportunities.  That giving of ourselves and our resources comes back to us.  That the act of taking risks can be more rewarding than expected.  That our daughter is respected for her choices and her desire to learn.

Oh God of all that is good, thank you for the affirmation we receive through the many gifts and talents of others.  When we ask we will receive, just as we were taught in scriptures.  We ask for your presence with these young scientists as they prepare to travel abroad to learn more about the value of one of the smallest creatures in creation.  Guide the students as they will work to find ways for the crops and people to co-exist with the leaf-cutter ants.  Keep them safe as they experience life between volcanoes.  But mostly, thank you for the generosity of our friends and family who have helped us financially with this trip and who are holding all these students and their chaperones in their prayers.  Amen. 

Jumping In

I've been waiting for my summer intensive class to begin.  Today was the day!  It’s a class about Episcopal Worship, where we will become more familiar with the theology of our liturgy.  I had a different expectation for the class.  I was expecting more training towards how to do liturgical ‘things’ at the altar, so I was surprised a bit when I found out it is more about the theology and history of the liturgy.  It’s fascinating stuff.

Because it is a class that only meets four days a week for three weeks, it’s intense.  The daily homework is significant.  I was only partially prepared for this part.  Now, I navigate.  How do I get it all done?  With the help of the people I live with, for one.  They will take on some of my responsibilities so I can focus on school for these few weeks.  They will give me space and quiet so I can read and write as I need.  They will let me bow out of other activities when I need.  But I won’t want to give up everything to stay focused on this class.  I need to be a participant in the life of my family and my friends.  Graduation parties and shopping for our daughter’s upcoming trip to Costa Rica are priorities.  So while I have the support to focus, I have to live life and BE.

Heavenly Father, life can sometime be intense.  Choosing an intense schedule is very different from having life become overwhelming without notice.  It is important to understand the impact of choice in these moments in life.  Teach us to balance…to choose moments of Sabbath within chaos, to choose family within studies and work, to choose prayer and worship within daily tasks and chores.  Grant us the ability to find peace in intensity, lingering quietly within your arms.  Amen.

Cupcakes

How many steps do we need to take to reach a goal?  How many are we willing to take?  When is the journey more important than the goal?

Our daughter has a cupcake recipe that she’s made once before.  It’s quite complex, with four steps that each have multiple steps.  

1.  Putting together the cupcake batter & baking.  

2.  Making a filling, chilling & filling.  

3.  Preparing a ganache, cooling & glazing.  

4.  Blending frosting ingredients & frosting.  

Now, I love to bake, but I generally draw the line at three steps.  This type of thing generally is too time-consuming.  And to be honest, making cupcakes is even too putsy for me!  Give me a request for a 9x13 homemade cake, and I’ll run with it! 

I have to say that these cupcakes are some of the tastiest I have ever eaten.  And when she made them before, she did it without my help, so I know she can do this.  But being able to help her and, even more important, her wanting my help, was a journey I enjoyed taking; even when we had to do step 2 twice because of a substitution error. We worked well together and learned more about our styles in the kitchen—tips she’s gleaned from watching me (yes!  She’s paid attention all these years!  J ).  All and all, I was willing to take a few extra steps because the journey was so much bigger than the cupcakes themselves.

Dear God, You know the joy of being with your children.  I was able to experience some of that joy today and I am very satisfied and filled with joy.  Thank you for giving each of us the desire to work together for the benefit of others (the cupcakes are for her classmates—not even for us!!).  Let her see the delight on the faces of her friends when they eat this treat so lovingly made by her.  Amen.

Spending Saturday in a Meeting

I spent the middle of the day (10-3) doing some of the work of the Episcopal Church in Minnesota.  We spend the first part of our day doing Gospel Based Discipleship, where we read a section of scripture and talk about what words or phrases jump out at us.  We do this three times, reading different interpretations of the Bible to try to understand the text more completely.  Being a Church that is working hard to base itself in mission, many of the texts chosen for these meetings are about being sent out into the world to do the work of the Holy.  It is interesting to learn how others view the texts and to see how their insights affect mine, and mine, theirs.  It is another way we work together, learning about the skills and talents we bring to this elected body of the Church.  For now, this will be my last meeting with this group, as my term will end at Convention in September.  I still have work to do until then, but this particular group will not meet again until my term has ended. 

I consider these five years as a Delegate and one year as a member of Council as an integral part of my education.  The work that is done for the good of the Episcopal Church in MN, often without the knowledge of many of the people in the pews, takes time, energy, prayer and working together.  I value this experience as it prepares me in ways seminary cannot, with the people, in the trenches, doing ‘business’ for the purpose of ‘ministry and mission.’

 

Dear Great Convener, you bring people together to do your work in the world.  We try hard to work together for the benefit of many…and for the benefit of few.  We pray that we are efficiently meeting the business needs so that the spiritual, missional and ministerial needs can take a greater role.  Thank you for these people who are looking forward to and who are looking out for all the good work we can do to fulfill your will in the world.  Amen.

Here and There

We have had a beautiful day in our neighborhood today.  Unfortunately, there have been damaging storms in other parts of the state and country.  It’s pretty amazing how much differently we experience weather—from city to city and county to county and state to state. 

Dear God, comfort those who have been affected by crazy weather today.  Be with the families of those who died, who have lost homes and who are confused by the impact of what they experienced today.  And yet, I thank you for the beautiful day we were able to enjoy today.  I don’t pretend to understand why there and not here, but I know you are present everywhere, holding your children in all our joys and fears.  To you, I give thanks.  Amen.