The advent of Advent

                We mark beginnings, celebrating the “new:” the possibilities, the opportunities, the change, the risk, the good ones, the not-so-good ones, those that are small and those that are large.  We continually birth ourselves throughout life, conceiving notions and ideas, nourishing them and letting them grow within until the time is ripe for the contractions and the mess of birth.  Birthing is not easy.  With the new, come those possibilities, those opportunities, those changes, risks and every emotion from elation to fear.

                Whether we are marking birthdays, anniversaries, a new business or job, a new house or a new church year, we often reminisce about what came before, what has changed, what is closing.

                There’s a 1998 pop song by a local band done good, Semisonic, called “Closing Time.”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8&feature=kp  The song is about “bar time” when the bar is closing for the night, the last drinks have been served, the last dance is being danced.  Many of us can picture the scene. Songwriter Dan Wilson has a way with words and puts an interesting slant on the scene.  “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” 

                With the beginning of Advent we have the opportunity to begin again.  The past year is ending, teaching us and guiding us into a new understanding of who we are for our families, our friends, our beloved faith community and our God.  What can we let go of from the past?  What former beginning are we willing to let end?  

Dan Wilson has another line in the song:  “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”  I take this metaphorically.  I must be willing to leave the comfort of some of what “home” means to me.  Those emotions that drag me down, those relationships that are strained, those burdens that keep me away from the ability to see the holy.

We are entering into Advent, which, according to Dictionary.com means:  a coming into place, view, or being; arrival: the advent of the holiday season.  We, by the nature of our baptism, are coming into a new place.  We cannot stay “here” and be prepared for the gift of Jesus without revisiting what was, we need to be willing to change those things that are preventing us from moving into a fuller communion with Jesus and with one another. 

                Our personal closing time, that act of shutting the door of one part of our life, opens so many opportunities.   One more line from the song: “Time for you to go out to the places you will be from.”  Where are we from?  What does this beginning offer us and our world?  Are we willing to go out into all those places we inhabit every hour of the day and see the advent of this new beginning?  Are we willing to see how this beginning can be another beginning’s end?

                I wish you blessings as we exit, together, what was, and enter, together, what will be.

All About A Birthday

Our daughter is celebrating her eighteenth birthday today.  She’s our younger of the two, so this means both of our “kids” are now adults in some ways, and not in others.  This academic year has been one of “lasts” and it has been both wonderful and sad.  The era of kids in public school is coming to an end.  Graduation and the commencement into the next phase are only months away.

Our girl is pretty amazing.  She is smarter than, well, I don’t even know what.  I cannot keep up with her or help her with much more than proofing and editing some of her writing because I never learned that math or science or even that history.  I can call upon experience, but I have no expertise.  I could cheer her from the bleachers at her tennis matches and as she performed with the marching band.  I look forward to learning what “Ultimate” is all about this spring.  I can be at concert and parade performances and I can be at conferences.  Support her, yes; help her, not so much; at least not academically. 

She’s heading back to Costa Rica in a few weeks, this time to tag sea turtles with graduate students.  Four nights on the beach, up all night, flashing her red headlamp and affixing radars on the backs of the turtles they can collect will combine with her experience working with leaf cutter ants back in June.  She doesn’t know exactly how these experiences will affect her future, but they can only broaden her mind and offer her unforgettable opportunities.  For now, she is looking at majoring in composite materials engineering.  Pretty exciting for an eighteen year old.

Oh God of all, giver of good things, we thank you for Erin.  She is our joy and our light.  Be her guide as she journeys into her adulthood with opportunities others can only dream about.  Teach her more about your creation through her time in Costa Rica.  Bless her with years of courageous risks that buoy her, developing her self-confidence and compassion in the world.  You gave this person to us to form and teach and grow into this blossoming adult.  Let all that she has learned from the many people in her life be her foundation and points of refuge when the world seems harsh and difficult.  Let the love she has experienced all her life strengthen her for your good work in this world.  To you, we give thanks.  Amen.

A Thanksgiving Prayer

It was a nice afternoon and evening with almost all of my family.  Missing only three nieces on both sides, we gathered together at my brother's and his wife's house to celebrate.  This is the prayer I offered at our table:

O Holy One,

As we gather together we thank you for this bounty, for the people who surround us here.  We thank you for those who fill our hearts and minds with memories, joy, and love.  We humbly ask you to remind us that there are many others who are not as fortunate as we, who are alone, who are struggling with addiction, homelessness or food insecurity.  Open our hearts to the many who suffer any kind of grief or sorrow.  While we enjoy this meal, we give thanks for the hands that prepared it, for the ones who opened their doors to us, for those who will clean up.  To you, O Holy One, we give the greatest thanks.  Amen.

Complements

I was told today that I am beautiful.  These are not words I take lightly, nor are they words I give freely, so to receive them from someone I had just met was an incredible gift.  I have learned that the best response to flattery is simply to say, “Thank you!”  And so I did.  I did not doubt or question it internally, and I also did not allow my ego to blow up, even though it may seem like that is what I am doing here. 

I tell this story because I think we often forget the impact a few words can make on someone.  So many comments made about and to others are negative, and we begin to believe the negativity we are fed.  To have someone pay a complement, unexpected, unsolicited and sincere can change the outlook of both the giver and receiver.  It was different than a hug.  It was different because it was from a near stranger.  It was special because it was different.  Perhaps when I look in the mirror tonight as I wash my face and brush my teeth I will see what she saw. 

Perhaps, the next time I see beauty in someone I will tell them.

Dear God, a complement, a few simple words, made an impact in the way I looked at the world for a few hours.  Someone gave me the opportunity to feel special, and I am thankful.  Let me see more beauty in others and in the world around me.  Give me confidence to tell others about the beauty I see within them and around them.  Thank you for giving me this person on this day with this gift.  Amen.

When to decorate?

This morning at the staff meeting we talked about when to start decorating for Christmas.  As a church, it is hard to buy into the idea that the day after Thanksgiving is the day to put up the tree.  For crying out loud, it isn't even Advent, yet!  It’s a conundrum.  The Christmas music has been playing for nearly a month in stores, enticing us to begin to buy gifts and cards and décor to beautify our homes.  I have to admit, there was one year that I had all my shopping done and possibly even wrapped before Thanksgiving.  That was eighteen years ago, and I was going to have a c-section on the 30^th!  I knew that I was going to be kind of occupied with healing and welcoming our second child in 19 months!

As I have gotten older and have paid more attention to the church year, what each season represents as a journey through our faith, I have learned that Advent is a time of preparation for the Christ-child.  We have four weeks to pray and learn and prepare, and even though marketing gurus have tarnished the spiritual nature of the preparation, decorating our home throughout Advent while listening to the music of the season can be one way to prepare for the Holy Birth, as long as I remember that it is that birth I am preparing for and not just the race to find the perfect gift for the people who have everything.  Understanding the difference between The Gift and the gifts is important.  Dwelling on the decorating, savoring the feel and smells of the ornaments and manger scenes, contemplating the impact this one life has had on history is part of the Advent preparation.

Dear God, let me dwell in a house that is filled with reminders of all you have provided for us.  As the seasons change and the music reminds us that soon we will be celebrating all the holy days ahead, let us give thanks for the small mementos and memories that bring us closer to the ones we love.  Keep us mindful of those who struggle through this time of the year for whatever the reason.  Help them to find love and compassion in those around them and give them peace.  Amen.

Refocusing

I've been spending time catching up on journaling for one of my classes this week, which meant I spent time catching up on some reading about spiritual practices as well.  There are so many ways to engage in quiet, holy time in a day.  I find that learning about spiritual practices has made it harder for me to focus on the one that has kept me grounded for over a year.  I know it is good to have options, and I know that there are times when I need to change up the way I find respite with God.  Sometimes it is not easy to admit that I need to spend time with confession or to realize that I may not be a generous as I thought or that doing service and mission should find a different location on my to-do list.  But it is at those times when I most need to pay attention to where my focus is. 

I need to refocus.

The end of the semester is near.  Advent is about to begin and, as some people I know have said, the “holiday vortex” is upon us.  You know what I really want to do?  Find a fun book to read and spend a day reading it cover to cover.  I want to escape, to stop clenching my jaw, to get enough sleep, to not feel guilty when I play Candy Crush…at least for a little while.  For now, I can only dream of the beach and the waves upon the sand. 

Until then, I need to refocus on what needs to be done, find a way to refocus on my relationship with God, refocus my energy to stay current and refocus on what I need to do now to prepare me for then.  The goal of ordinations and graduation are coming faster than I imagined … in some ways, sooner. 

O Holy One, this is the last week of the Christian year.  We change our focus and begin our preparations for the Christ Child.  Our liturgy changes, our trajectory points towards one holy night.  We light more candles.  We pray different prayers.  We re-imagine our relationship with you, evaluating our gifts, preparing ourselves for your return.  Be with us as we refocus our energies through the hustle of the season, slowing us down to light the candles, pray the prayers and prepare for what is to come.  Amen.

Making room

I have a new little quiet corner in which to do my school work.  We cleaned up a corner in the rarely used family room, put in a desk and I moved many of my books and supplies into the space.  It’s cozy and a room I can retreat to when I need to be separated from the distractions I seem to always encounter working at the dining room table, which is a wide open space between the kitchen, great room and living room—kind of a conduit to everywhere.  The only problem?  No internet service.  Our wireless router doesn’t like something that must be in the way. 

This may be a very good thing, as long as I don’t need the internet to do my homework.  It will keep me focused by eliminating the internet distraction that creeps ever so easily into my day.  Good thing I have a laptop and can move around the house to take care of the urges and temptations! But I sure hope I am able to stay put long enough to accomplish something!

Dear God, bless my little corner, my light, my books, my pens and pencils.  Guide my path as I make this transition into more solitude; give me patience to accomplish what I need to do in a more timely, less distracted manner.  With your help, I think I can embrace this change and use it to do good things.  Amen.

The ultimate audience is God

I have been struggling with finding the holy in worship.  It is so different being behind the altar than looking at the altar.  Giving and receiving of holy moments during worship, feeling particularly touched by a moment, brushed with an inner peace, being able to pray what I need to pray; these thing appear in worship for leaders in unique ways and are often sought after in places other than a service.  But finding the holy, in any aspect of life, is possible, if we can let go, breathe and embrace possibilities of grace.

In my reading today I came across a chapter on worship.  I was very pleased to be offered some suggestions on how to prepare for worship, no matter if I’m in the pew or at the altar.  I offer these questions to help center on the two way relationship with God:

“When have I been aware of your presence, guidance, or grace this week? How did I respond?

When have I been especially unaware of your presence, guidance, or grace this week? Why?

What habit of the heart do I need to acquire in order to live more faithfully?” 

[Marjorie J. Thompson. Soul Feast: An Invitation to the Christian Spiritual Life (Kindle Locations 945-946). Kindle Edition.]

I’m not sure how I want to implement these into my weekly routine, but I feel the need to figure it out…soon…because it is so easy to simply “go to work” and “do the job” and forget Who I am there to do it for.  Especially when I consider this:  “The audience is God!”  [Thompson.  (Kindle Location 825).]

And: “Christian worship is paradoxical. God is both the audience and the main actor. We too are both actors and audience.”  [Thompson. (Kindle Location 832). ]

Dear God, the supreme audience of worship, the lead role in creation, thank you for cheering me on as I navigate this time in my life.  You are ever present whether or not I notice or devote time to our relationship.  Help me have more intention while I live and love to your grace.  Teach me to let go, relax and be in your presence, accepting your guidance in all that I do.  Amen.

Puppies and kitties, ice cream and popcorn, spouses and lovers...

I love that so many people are posting the things for which they are thankful.  They are counting their blessings, paying attention to what is most important, creating an environment of giving and receiving in one of the most intimate ways.  I know that it is a November kind of a thing, but I really hope that the 30-days-to-a-habit helps them to continue their gratitude journals in some form or another.  And yes, being thankful for a bowl of ice cream with cashews and chocolate sauce counts!

Dear Holy One, so many people have so many things to be thankful for.  You are the provider of all things, and it is to you we give thanks.  Keep us mindful, as we list our thanksgivings, of those who are in need: for those in the Philippines and those who wait for word from their loved ones, for the homeless, for the hungry, for the trafficked, for the sick, the friendless and the needy.  Help us to give where we can in ways that glorify your Holy Name.  Amen.

A brief stop on the journey

I feel like this is the first time I have stopped to listen since my last post.  So much of my creative energy was put into the sermon I offered this past Sunday (see the column to the right to read it).  It was a lot of work because it was a complicated Gospel, so the time I spent working on it was like researching for a paper, more than other sermons.  It didn't come easy. 

This week I need to take time to focus on a couple of specific learning opportunities.  Tonight we talked about the Holocaust in my Judaism class.  Friday I will be attending a web cast about racism.  These are tough things to think about, but oh so necessary. 

In the meantime, I think I’ll try to rest, cuddle under the electric blanket and sleep until morning.  My mind can take some time off.  My emotions can rest.  My body can rejuvenate.  The questions and insights will come soon enough.

Dear God of all, you are the giver of Life.  Thank you for all the blessings of this life, for all the learning opportunities to grow, and for the people who journey along the way.  Be with those who mourn this night.  Heal those who had surgeries this week.  Keep hunters safe and bring them home to those who love them.  All thanks to you.  Amen.

Gratitude

It’s that time of the year again: Stewardship season.  These next couple of weeks will be the time faith communities gather together to celebrate what they have together and how each person can better understand the gifts they bring to the community.  It is about financial commitment, yes, but it is also about paying attention to the relationship one has with their community.  Sometimes it is a rocky relationship, other times it is wonderful. 

Each person brings who they are and what they have to give, and hopefully those things are not the left overs of their life, but are the first fruits.  There are times when individuals feel very blessed and secure in their relationships with the Holy and with the faithful community that nurture their relationship.  Giving is much easier when all is going well. 

It is also easy to give when in pain.  Knowing that the community is also there to nurture us when we hurt or are sick, asking and receiving help, feeling the healing power of prayer in all its manifestations all are markers for giving as well.

What of those in between times, when life is status quo?  Perhaps being involved in the community is not a priority because life seems to be running smoothly.  Maybe time with God does not mean time in communal worship.  Pledging financial or time resources may not seem so important, but it may be easy to just do it because it is always done.

At the church I am interning at, we call this coming Sunday “Gratitude Sunday.”  Other churches call it their “In-gathering.”  It is our time to recognize what we have been abundantly given and what we can return with thanksgiving.  It may be more time than money.  It may be more money than time.  The seasons of our lives often dictate our ability to give of ourselves. 

What I think may be more important is that we spend some time thinking about, reflecting upon and praying to figure out what our faith means to us and how we can express our thanksgiving through our own ability to give.  How do we develop our relationship with our Holy One?  Where do we feel most connected to life?  Does our faith community help us develop a stronger tie with God?  In what ways?  What can we give of ourselves to experience boundless opportunities for growth?

My spouse and I have always given more time, more energy, more moments than we have given money to our faith community.  I think that began because we just plain didn't have the financial ability to give much.  We found that by doing and being and participating in life, in our faith community, in the organizations we believe in, we are tapping the greater resource.  Sometimes that gift of time, energy and action tap and zap us more than a monetary gift.  But through our activity we have modeled leadership and possibilities and developed relationships that matter to us and to our kids.  Being active in so many things has helped us to grow and become more than what we may have become if we had simply written a check.

I’m not negating the value of writing a check.  Financial resources are necessary to maintain programs, staff, buildings and grounds.  Money is needed to keep doors open and philanthropic endeavors going.  We need to give financially! 

I need to think and pray and reflect upon all that I am grateful for because of all that has been given to me.  I must consider the pain and sorrow as well as the happiness and joy.  It would be foolish to not think of how different experiences have affected me and where I have seen the Holy, especially when seeing the Holy takes a different kind of vision.

O God, you are the source of an abundant life.  When the waters seem to be running dry, you are there, ready to fill us with life giving water.  When the floods come, overflowing the banks of our expectation, you are there, filling us with blessings.  When the river runs at a steady pace, you are there, patient and kind, quietly waiting for us to recognize that this, too, is your gift.  Teach us how to give in all seasons, to pay attention to the daily gifts that appear along our walk with you.  Help us to count our blessings and express our gratitude.  Amen.

Holy Reassurance

I experienced that “Holy Spirit rush” while in prayer just before the early service this morning.  It’s a flutter that emanates from the depths of my chest, almost like the feeling of a chill, but it is a warm vibration.  It is a reminder that I am in relationship with the Holy as it trickles outward providing a sense of peace and calm.  I haven’t felt that for a while.  I think it may be because my internship has been more about learning than about feeling the Holy Spirit move within me and within the community.  I have learned to trust that the Holy Spirit IS moving in those places, but for me to feel it so viscerally, so physically, I find I need to go elsewhere and be open in a different way. 

Feeling it this morning was a reassurance that the Holy can be felt even if I am part of the worship team.  I have longed for that moment and am so thankful that it arrived this morning.

Letting go of the expectation that worship is where one meets God has been important for me to learn and tell people about.  I've known for years that God can be found everywhere, but find that being in community with others, worshiping God through communal praise, music, liturgy and prayer is extremely important for me to learn more about God and how God moves in this world.  People are more open to talk about faith and God in church, but sometimes the most holy of experiences come from simply living and paying attention.

I wasn't looking for the physical presence of the Holy this morning.  I think that may be why I felt her so strongly, yet briefly as we prayed.  I am so thankful.

Thank you Holy, Heavenly Spirit for being physically present in the world.  In your presence there is reassurance that we are in relationship with all that is Holy and good.  Feeling your gentle touch is a great comfort.  Your touch helps bring weary, aching, frightened and hurting people peace.  Your touch guides the strong and healthy as they navigate life’s challenges.  Your touch blesses all of us at the moments we most need reminding that all will be well because you are present in our lives.  Amen.