Shifting gears

The last couple of weeks have been filled with shifting gears.  The end of the semester meant that I would have more free time.  At least from school work.  I was able to pick up some of my home duties, like buying lots and lots of groceries.  I have bounced from ‘mom’ to ‘wife’ a little easier, since ‘student’ got some time off.  But I replaced ‘student’ with ‘daughter-in-law’ and ‘daughter’ duties that I usually don’t have time for.  And then there have been meetings: a meeting to prep for tonight’s meeting, which is preparation for Saturday’s meeting … for church.  Shifting from work writing to parenting to church meeting to work writing to parenting, I feel like my gears are stripped!   

Dear God, I am thankful for the ability for an automatic transmission that helps me shift gears smoothly and mostly easily as my roles and tasks change quickly and actively.  I am thankful that I am able to idle periodically with a book or movie.  I am also thankful that I can run efficiently in fifth gear, speeding safely through all the obstacles and opportunities along the way.  I trust in you to keep me motivated to maintain my engine so that I do not sputter and break down when life accelerates to warp speed.  Remind me to find a nice place to put it in park, shut off the engine and let it rest.  Amen.

Shattered Sleep

I stay awake to watch as the black sky is illuminated by piercing shards of light,  listening to the rain fall in outbursts, flooding for a moment and stopping, as if to wait for permission from the thunder.  Spontaneous storms surround us tonight with no promise of steady rain.  Sleep will likely be disturbed by disruptive applause, cheering in the sky.  

Dear Ruler of the Heavens, rain down, brighten the sky with lightening and let the angels applaud!  This night is yours.  Fill it with your glory, your peace and your understanding.  Keep us safe, comfort those who are afraid and send the Holy Spirit in the wind to bring us peace within.  Amen.

Praying for the Future

As Jeff and I were walking this evening our discussion turned toward the future.  We often talk about where God will call us to do ministry.  We dream about places where we think we may enjoy living.  I suggested we start to pray for our future congregation.  While we believe in the prayer that never fails:  “Thy will be done,” we can pray that we all are preparing for the day we meet and for the ministry we will do together.  We can pray for open minds, spirits and hearts for all of us.  We can pray for calmness in our hope and in our journeys into new adventures.  And we shall.  

Dear God, we don’t know what the future holds.  We can only trust in you and your will.  Please prepare the hearts of those whose lives we will each touch.  Help us to do your will in relationships, in communities and in the world.  Guide us in all we do.  Amen.

Memories as Memorials. Memorials as Memories.

There are so many things in my house that bring me joy when I look at them.  They are tokens that help remind me of people, events, moments and memories.  If I take time to sit quietly and focus on one or two, I can sometimes bring myself back to when I acquired the item or to someone special who found this item especially for me, bringing me to a place of comfort.  I suppose they could be called moments of Sabbath, breaking through my day, giving me pause and helping me to reconnect with my ‘self’ and my ‘soul’.  They could be prompters of prayer for people who have entered my life for a moment or for a lifetime.  I ask myself if I could live without these items, and, to be honest, there are some I could easily give away or sell.  But there are others that are more than the token that bring me places I need to go to help me find my ‘self’. 

 
I just finished reading the book Matched by Ally Condie.  It’s another dystopian story where officials determine what people need to live a balanced life.  Each person is matched to jobs, spouses, neighborhoods and schools based on, I don’t even know what, to keep the communities in control.  They have no tokens, and only a few memories and even the memories can be taken away with a pill if the government requires.  I am intrigued by the story, and by other stories, like The Giver by Lois Lowry and The Hunger Games series.  They make me think about the beauty of art, of words, of life and color.  All these things that bring joy to the givers and receivers, the watchers and the hearers that, in someone’s vision of a “perfect” society would be dismissed as non-essential. 

 
All these thoughts on a sacred day:  Memorial Day.  We remember those who have given so much of themselves so that we do not live in a dystopian world.  Where we have freedoms to find joy and passion in life through many mediums and we do.  Little things that we take for granted because we know nothing different.  So much to be thankful for, but we forget all that was given.

Dear Giver of Joy, of Passion, of Love, thank you for reminding me that I need to pay attention to the things that bring me to moments of Sabbath and that these things were not given without cost and sacrifice.  Memories that lay with objects help remind me of people and places that have touched my life are all a part of a larger gift.  Help me to honor and appreciate all that memories and tokens remind me of.  Amen.

In Memory of...

I've been pretty lucky. Even though my dad and both brothers served in the Navy and Air Force, none of them ever saw combat (even though Dad was active during the Korean War). It's hard for me to imagine what others have experienced whose loved ones have been in combat. So I think about that on days like today. Thankful that I have not had direct experience with a loved one in combat, yes. But also thankful for all those who, whether they expected to or not, went into dangerous places to protect and serve...and for their families, for all they have had to or are currently are enduring while their loved one is away. 

I think about people I know of, but do not know, who are currently active duty, the husband of a second cousin, the husbands of the daughters of friends. I think of a young man from my church. The daily concern their families have for the safety of those they love must be overwhelming. 

Over the years I have thought about all who have suffered or given up something because of war. Of the women who had to hold the country together during WWII. Who had to give up the jobs they took during to war and give them to the veterans upon their return. I think of great uncles who had to remember their war stories. I think of those who were held captive. I think of my friend whose dad was killed in Viet Nam when she was a child.

It is a day to remember. I wish you all this day, a day of thankful memories, a day of tears, a day of hope for our futures.

Bird Watching

One of the most relaxing activities I can think of is watching birds at the bird feeders.  We just got home from a couple days at my folks’ and spent so much time watching vibrant, busy, hungry and diverse birds at the feeders.  Hummingbirds, Nuthatches, Scarlet Tanagers, Orchard and regular Orioles, Chickadees, Indigo Buntings, Cardinals, Cowbirds, Blue Jays, Mourning Doves and Sparrows congregated where they are regularly fed.  A full-faced chipmunk peeked in the window, too.  The music in the air created by nature was mesmerizing.  The creek is flowing well after a strong winter that widened the gullies and narrowed the earth between the pole barn and the creek.  Trees have toppled into the water and yellow flowers have burst forth all around the banks.  One of my brothers found a morel mushroom.  The other found a unique sparkly rock that may have once been a deer antler.  The air and water always seem fresher there. 

Dear, dear God, creator of spiritual spaces, thank you for the beauty of the coulee.  Even in the busy-ness of family activities and chatter, this place is a calming force in all our lives.  We know when we are there we are surrounded by the holy.  Amen.

Fun and Games

We got to watch my nephew play soccer this afternoon.  Then the younger kids played with some lawn games, chased one another around—creating their own games.  In the evening we played cards and board games.  Some of the games were structured, while others were random acts of fun.  Three generations, all day long.  

Oh Founder of Families, Bless our families with love, laughter and fun.  Be with us as we relax together and try to let the cares of the world remain outside the bubble.  Help us “sing in harmony” as our voices rise and fall, full of expression.  Amen.

How do we ask for help?

It’s really easy to just do things for ourselves, often because we know how we want it done, or know it will be done when we want it done.  At other times it may mean we have to teach someone how to do the job, and there simply doesn't seem to be enough time to train.  The problems that can emerge when we do things/tasks/jobs without help/apprentices are significant.  As a mom it has been important to me to teach our kids how to do little things like clean a bathroom, do dishes (from start to finish), run a vacuum, dust and do laundry.  I've done some cooking and baking training, too.  Now that we are all so very busy, all these things need to be done with help—no one person should be responsible for any one thing.  Families and households are not the only places folks need to ask for help.  Church communities, schools, workplaces and community organizations cannot operate efficiently without looking outward to the people to get appropriate help.  Sometimes a sign-up sheet isn't enough and a personal “ask” needs to occur for an activity or event to happen.  Sometimes we don’t know what we can do to help, or do not see the need.  It takes many people and their gifts to make things happen.  How we work together, communicate with one another and see the outcomes together will affect every nuance of life.  

Dear Great Organizer, help us to see and offer our gifts and talents.  Help us see even more clearly the needs of others and offer of ourselves.  For you are the potter and we are the clay—mold us into holy images of giving to others out of love.  Amen.

Time Lapse

The way this spring season has occurred it may have been fun to do some time lapse photography as everything sprang forth in record time.  Last week the rhubarb was just breaking out of the dirt.  Tomorrow I will harvest some to make my first rhubarb, strawberry, blueberry pie of the fresh season.  Plants that we wintered over in the house have been struggling with the variety of temperatures and rainfall, but many are sprouting new growth.  A bright blue sky today certainly helped everything that’s sprouting!  Looking up during our walk we saw three shades of pink flowers blooming on trees, mixed with a couple shades of green and some burgundy leaves, all against a cloudless blue sky.  Nature can provide some amazing colors that somehow work together to announce the glory of God!  

Oh God of all Nature, help us to stop and look down to see the growth bursting forth.  Help us to stop and look up to see the glorious colors in the trees.  Help us to look straight ahead, into the eyes of those who speak with us.  At every angle, we are blessed with amazing gifts.  Help us to see them and be thankful.  Amen.

"The Wall"

Watching someone as they age, as their choices become big decisions about how and where to live, trying to assist as much as is possible, is not so much a spectator sport as it is running a marathon.  Now, I've never been a runner, so I can only vicariously use this metaphor, but I've lived with a marathon runner for a long time, so I understand some of the process, preparation and procedures.  Living is a marathon.  There are certain points in aging that are like hitting “the wall.”  The wall we are hitting is about living arrangements.  We know we need to push through the pain of giving up more independence for an environment that will provide some amenities that will make living more gratifying, and hopefully more enjoyable.  Honesty is necessary to admit limitations as well as abilities.  It may feel like giving up, but I really believe this is more about being at the point of knowing when to ask for help.  

Dear Caregiver of All, Be with those who have to make decisions either for themselves or for others.  Guide words and actions so that they are offered with honesty, integrity and humility.  Teach the young how to honor and respect the elders.  Do the same for the elders.  This is a hard time for both as those who cared for their children now need to be cared for by those children.  Help us to value the gifts we each share, especially when we choose the ‘wrong’ words to express love, worry and concern.  And love.  Grant patience for all involved in making life-changing decisions.  Amen.

Who Is In Control?

It’s raining again.  I think the gutters need to be cleaned out after all the seeds have dropped from the trees.  I’m sure the rain barrel is overflowing.  I heard on the radio that this is one of the wettest Mays on record.  I love rain!  The smell of mud and worms, of water comingling with leaves, grass and bark, is relaxing.  I like having little to do on rainy days.  It provides time with a book or newspaper to read, the chance to watch some television or take a nap.  There is a sense of renewal in rain.  At this time of the year, volunteer seedlings begin to pop out of the earth with the same confidence as the perennials.  I enjoy watching the sky light up with streaks of lightening and wait for the thunderous reply.  There is power in nature and a thunderstorm is a reminder that I am not in charge.  

Thank you for the rain, Giver of life!  With it we are humbled, for we are only spectators of the miracles of weather.  Keep us safe when the weather is dangerous, but give us enough curiosity to peek out the windows to see the most natural show.  And mostly, thank you for raising the temperatures so that we are not battling snow drifts and ice in May!  Amen.

Wicked Weather

We have to weather the weather whether or not we like it.  I am thankful that the rain we had here did not cause flooding or too many problems here.  I am also thankful that my second cousin and her family in Moore, OK are all safe after the massive tornado did extensive damage this afternoon.  Unfortunately, many people are still waiting for news of their loved ones.  Situations like damaging weather are hard to comprehend.  We wonder, why?  There is no way to understand.  

Oh Heavenly Father, it is days like these where we have to rely on you to find hope when we feel fear.  Give strength to those who are struggling with all the damage, destruction and death.  Be with all who will clean the mess, finding remnants of full and active lives.  Amen.

Fires of Love

Today is Pentecost, the day the Holy Spirit rested upon the Apostles, the birth of the Christian Church, 50 days after Easter.  It is one of the ‘high holy days’ for many Christian denominations.  Our church has a couple traditions on this day.  First, there is usually a baptism, welcoming new members into the community of Christ.  As a matter of fact, both of our kids were baptized on the Pentecost following their births.  We encourage wearing red to represent the fire of the Holy Spirit burning within us.  And we bedeck the sanctuary in red: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=595490487157281&set=o.256137074422285&type=1&theater

But one of the unique things we do is have the lesson in Acts read by many people, in a variety of languages.  Our congregation is made up of Americans, Africans from a variety of nations, Central Americans, Pilipino, Malaysians, Cubans and Italians.  We invite anyone who wishes, to read from their native or trained tongue, representing how, when the Holy Spirit came down, She gave people the ability to not only speak but to understand multiple languages.  The Church was able to spread beyond the contingent of Apostles and their followers, and grow.  

Oh Spirit of the Living God, you bring us into relationships to share all the wonder of our faith.  We often do not know how to communicate that faith, but trust that we can find ways to represent it.  We call to you, Come Holy Spirit!  Come!  Fill us with your grace, strength and passion.  Come Holy Spirit!  Come!  Amen. 

Dandelions!

The rain this morning was refreshing and much needed.  The dandelions and violets are popping up in the yard.  Yesterday we got a note in our mailbox from a Trugreen representative that says, “I noticed you have a beautiful lawn but seem to have a bit of a weed problem.  I would love to help eliminate that problem for you.”  Jeff and I laughed!  “A bit of a weed problem?”  That would be an understatement!  After sleeping on it, we are pretty sure we cannot deal with this issue on our own and are going to have to pay a company to help us with it.  We've put it off this long because, well, we love the yellow, purple and white blanket of brightness at the first part of spring.  The problem comes later, when the dandelions explode, sending their seeds all over the neighborhood, and we can’t keep up with the mowing.  It’s not so pretty then.  

Dear Bringer of the Sunshine of Groundcover, Thank you for the dandelions!  Seeing them means that spring has really arrived and all other perennials are going to start to grow.  After the extended winter, dandelions and violets are a hopeful signal that the seasons have changed again.  Let me be like the first dandelions, bright, cheerful and bringer of joy.  Amen.

Home

A cacophony of smells

permeate my senses. 

Spices, flowers, trees, bacon,

breads and more mingle in the air. 

I breathe deep, imagining.

Peace enfolds me. 

Dear God of peaceful moments, fill my senses with the things I love and bring me restful peace.  Amen.

The Midnight Hour

The many tones of wind chimes
shattering the silence,
announcing the presence of wind.

The moon hides behind a lacey cloud,
illuminating the sky,
spreading shadows with dappled light.

The night animals chirp messages,
skittering across streets,
staying in the shadows.

The darkness rapidly descends,
dreaming of a new day,
resting in the stars.

Creator of the stars of night, be present in the hours of darkness.  Amen.

Writing a Novel

The book of life has many chapters, they may not all seem to fit, some may always be incomplete, but nonetheless they are part of the whole…

As I’m trying to complete the last couple requirements of the semester I’m listening to the Twin Cities Women’s Choir latest c.d. release, which is a reminder of another, long chapter of my life.  My voice is on most of the songs on this two-disc compilation, and as I listen, I wonder if it will be the last one where my voice will be present.  Did I complete that chapter already?  What I’m becoming aware of is that even when chapters seem to come to an end, some elements of each are threads within the whole.  Memories, friendships, repeated experiences in new forms all help me remember that “My Heart’s At Home,” always, because it is my story and all the pieces fill my heart and wherever I am, I am at home. 

To the Author of Life, I give thanks!  The book that holds the pages of my life hold my story, incomplete, filled with suspense, joy and adventures.  When I have the opportunity to revisit the pages of earlier chapters, use them to teach me and guide me and remind me that in them, you were there, then, as you are now.  Amen.

Allergies or Emotions?

What a day.  The allergy season kicked into high gear with pretty much every plant budding, blooming, and bombarding me with pollen this week.  Itchy eyes, drippy nose causing a bit of exhaustion combined with the reality that this is the last week of this semester.  I've been focusing on the work I need to do to finish, which makes sense.  But, today I also realized that some of the students I've been in classes with are graduating this weekend! So amidst the allergies, emotions emerged. There is a little grief.  There is hope for the graduates.  There is also the stress involved in completing projects and papers.  There is anticipation and trepidation as my routine changes. If you've seen me today, you may have seen all of these things etched on my face, because I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve.  (Try to focus on the hope!)  

Dear Teacher of All, Be with those students who are graduating from seminary this weekend.  Guide their paths and their committees.  Jump through the hoops and over the hurdles with them as they move forward in their ministries.  Drive and travel with them as they take adventures, go on interviews and meet new people.  Bless their ordinations, their service and their ministries.  Guide their pathways into communion with you, the Holy One.  Amen.

Distracted

I’d like to think that my procrastination on writing my last paper for the semester is due to the distraction of the vote on marriage today.  If I hadn't turned on MPR at lunch and gotten sucked into the senators all stating their positions, I may have gotten more done.  But, listening to a pivotal moment in Minnesota history was actually fodder for my American Religious Histories paper.  How can I deny the impact the First Amendment had on these proceedings? 

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

According to the Anti-Defamation League (http://archive.adl.org/issue_religious_freedom/separation_cs_primer.asp): “Free from government control -- and without government assistance -- religious values, literature, traditions and holidays permeate the lives of our citizens and, in their diverse ways, form an integral part of our national culture. By maintaining the wall separating church and state, we can guarantee the continued vitality of religion in American life.”

Though we are the most religious country in the world, we sometimes forget that the religious freedoms we are given are given to and for everyone.  For those of us who consider ourselves Christians, we often forget that, Biblically speaking, marriage is not defined.  We want to remember that Jesus healed and ate with those whom others thought were “unclean,” but His unconditional love is now fraught with conditions.  How do we let go of these conditions?

Dear Creator of All, Lover of All, Healer of All, thank you for helping the state of Minnesota move forward on equality.  We have more to do for more marginalized folks who must be recognized because of their unique situations.  Help those whom we have elected lead us into the future with hope for those who have lost hope.  Amen.

Motherhood

Our kids are getting older, learning what it means to do some special things to make their mom feel loved in more mature ways.  A yellow rose—the last one available, I was told—a mushy, heart-felt, emotion-filled card with a special note, someone else’s homemade jams/jellies and a toast press that turns the bread into “holy toast!”  They are just a few more of my favorite things.  

Dear Parent of All, you have given us two miracle children.  These two special souls were sent to us when we were ready to become the best parents we could be, teaching us that all things are possible with You.  Two kids who are the best of friends.  Two kids who are gifted in their own special ways.  Two kids with futures beyond my imagination.  Being their mother has been one of the most wonderful opportunities in my life.  Thankful is a small expression of how I feel about them.  And yet, it is the only word that comes near.  To You, I give honor and glory.  Amen.

Favorite Things

We just got home from another wonderful Divas and Desserts concert by the Twin Cities Women’s Choir.  They sang, celebrated and entertained with jubilant enthusiasm.  I wasn’t up on stage this year, as my life has become too busy to try to memorize all the music for the concerts and my body can only handle so many activities in my life.  I missed being up there…but only a little.  There is something about volunteering for the event and then enjoying the music that is very satisfying.  I got to spend time in the kitchen, preparing the plates of desserts and time in the silent auction area selling the c.d.s we have produced over the course of my time, mingling with the guests and chatting with choir members.  Even though I’m not sure I will ever be able to sing with the women for a season, I need to remain active in some way.  This choir has been part of my inspiration to go into ministry.  Without my spiritual experiences and affirmations and opportunities this choir provided for me, my growth may not have led me to this place in life.  

Oh Giver of Melody, Rhythm and Harmony, thank you for the beauty of music; for those who write the words, compose the music, and bring both to life.  Thank you for the voices, lifting and sharing the gift.  Thank you for the people who are willing to work so hard to bring music to life and for the unimaginable joy music gives.  Amen.

A Little Dust on the Floor

Does it really matter?  What is most important?  We gathered Jeff’s side of the family together for a last minute birthdays (3 of them!)/anniversary/Mother’s Day dinner tonight.  We picked up a couple take and bake pizzas, baked a pan of brownies and tossed a salad all with only a few hours’ notice. The house was not clean.  There is dust on the floor and cat hair in their favorite spots.  But it didn’t matter.  No one really cared.  What was most important was finding a few hours together when our lives are so filled with activities, school work, volunteering and work.  

Oh Great Parent, thank you for being present amidst the dust and piles as we spent time just being together.  It was a great reminder that we come to you as we are, and we often come a little messy, a little frazzled, a little stressed and you welcome us in spite of our human expectations.  Help me to be so welcoming, so forgiving and so relaxed.  Amen.

Love Letters

I’ve given some more thought to love letters.  And love.  And communication.  How we communicate our love to one another, no matter the relationship, is key to how well relationships develop.  I’m working with a group, preparing for a presentation next week and we are taking this topic to our class.  The Biblical texts take us back to Genesis 11:1, 6-9, and the story of Babel.  It is an explanation for the numerous languages that are developed and the purpose—that people were forgetting God.  Later, in Acts 2:1-8, 11, we find the story of the Holy Spirit resting upon the people and giving them the ability to speak and understand a variety of languages so that the God’s message would be further sent into the world.

I had always looked at these texts as literal languages.  I suppose because the Scripture lists languages, but as many understand, the Bible is often an allegory and is not always to be taken literally.  When I opened up my creative mind (and remembered that the business we own is about communication) I became aware that we each bring unique ideas to communication.  We have needs and wants and desires as to how we want to be communicated with—not to.  While most of the research we found is geared to intimate relationships (spouses and children), we decided that it reaches further out into our circles.  How we react to communication is often affected by the way we wish to be communicated with.

 

It is Love Language  (http://personalitycafe.com/articles/112444-five-love-languages-explained.html).  And yes, we all have it.  We all need to feel that our needs can be met by the people around us—whether for a moment or a lifetime.  Of course, as receivers we cannot expect that the world will revolve around our needs, but we can expect to hear kindness and respect most of the time.  As the one speaking, we have the responsibility to speak with kindness and respect—all of the time.  But we have power, each of us.  If we understand that the relationships we are a part of require some massaging of the language to be more fully understood, more willingly accepted, then we are ahead of the game. 

So how do we communicate in loving ways?  For many people, words are not even the issue!  You can tell me you love me through gifts, through acts of service, through touch, through giving time or with words of affirmation!  What becomes difficult is knowing which language is the priority at the moment, because, really, don’t we all want all of these at one time or another?

Yesterday I wrote a love letter.  It prompted more conversation about love, memories, commitment, faith in one another and the pure enjoyment of seeing words handwritten on stationery.  We’ve missed that, especially in this world of computer generated communication.  It’s easy to send an email or a text.  These become instant messages.  A love letter, well, that takes a different mindset.  It takes a concentrated effort to give up time doing something else to express emotions through swirls and dots, through inserted hearts and smiley faces, with exclamation points and lipstick kisses.

And that letter fulfilled all of the Love Languages:  Time, Gift, Touch, Affirmation and even Service, for both of us.  

An Anniversary for Many.

I was right, it was a big day.  Not just for Jeff and I, but for Minnesota.  While we are celebrating our marriage, the vote for marriage equality passed.  Now we wait for the Governor, who has expressed his intent to sign it into law.  It was also a busy day.  One of the beloved professors at UTS gave his final chapel service and homily for us today.  He talked about how easy it is to misspell “United” as “Untied,” how this little slip is a wonderful representation of how all of us entered into our seminary experience as an untied group, afraid to open ourselves up, a bunch of frayed ends who will, in the end become a united community.  It was also the evening where Rich’s family and friends gathered to say goodbye to their loved one.  It is also the Feast Day of the Ascension of Jesus. 

Jeff came over to the seminary to take me out for dinner in between my meetings and class.  Just having a few minutes together was wonderful!  While I was at school I wrote Jeff a love letter—something I haven’t done in a very long time, perhaps not since one of us was in college years ago!  Traveling through memories was a great way to celebrate this special day.

God, I am so thankful for the relationship I have with Jeff.  You have given us so many wonderful opportunities and gifts, friends and family.  We are so very thankful for our children.  Be with us as we grow together through the years.  Amen.

Memories

Twenty-six years ago I was anxiously getting ready to try to sleep.  I would be walking down the aisle the next afternoon in front of about 300 guests to promise my love to Jeff.  I changed up the tradition a little bit.  I wore my mom’s wedding gown at the rehearsal.  It was a knee length frock with a lace jacket.  I was happy to be able to use it in such a way to honor her, but be able to have my own style at our wedding the next day.  From what I can remember, the rehearsal went well, the dinner was a tad rowdy and my nerves were swirling uncontrollably throughout my body.  Tonight, as I try to remember, I smile.  We've come a long way since that night.  We've become comfortable in our individual skins as well as with one another—but not so comfortable as to take one another completely for granted.  We've had to work hard to be the couple we are, and it hasn't been without struggles.  But, each effort has been worth it.  Our love is strong, our relationship blessed and our family a gracious gift.  It’s been a great 26 years. 

Dear Giver of Love, thank you for teaching how to live and love, to be in relationships of all sorts, to trust and give and experience life together.  Amen.

Little Miracles

Some days it is hard to find them.  Other days they are so in your face you cannot deny their existence.  Yet other days they seem utterly missing.  Today, I had a hard time seeing them through the fog in my eyes, the damper on my soul, the exhaustion in my body, but I know they were there.  If I pay attention, they were in the many messages of hope in creation through sermons given in class, in group projects presented, in an uninterrupted nap, in relaxing time with the one I love.  It would be easy to dwell in the gutter of my emotions today, but I know that that was a temporary state of mind and body and spirit, and thankfully, most people who know me, also know that how I felt today was more out of character than in character.  

Dear Lover of Souls, your presence even in my dismay is evident.  You place people, time and moments in my path to remind me that there is much more to be thankful for than frustrated about.  Mini gifts, little miracles—chocolate covered raisins, affirmation from a couple instructors, a knowing glance from a friend, and the comfort of cold sheets for an afternoon nap—are welcomed moments in an odd day.  Thank you.  Amen.

Looking Forward

It’s that time of the semester again.  Time to finish group projects and papers…thankfully, no exams this time around!  Time to figure out what next year’s academic life will look like.  I’m bemoaning the fact that most of the classes I either need or want are all being offered on Tuesdays this fall.  I’m going to have to refrain from 13 hour days of filling my head with seminary education.  Instead, I’ll only take two classes on Tuesdays with a six hour break between them and one on Thursday afternoons.  And my internship, of course!  

Oh Great Educator, thank you for the problem of too many options, too many opportunities and too many ways to know you more fully!  Each time I enter new classes I am nervous, but seem to come out at the end more satisfied, more confident and more prepared.  I am thankful!  Be with those who struggle with learning, with finances and with keeping up with coursework.  Fill us all with your love and patience.  Amen.

Petitions for those in need.

Please pray with me tonight.  For Fred, who will be having surgery tomorrow to remove cancer from his salivary glands, a rare and fast growing cancer.  For Dean, who will also be having surgery tomorrow on the recurring tumor in his brain.  For Lisa’s mom who is in hospice and for Lisa who is with her during this difficult time.  For Grant and his family as they celebrate and mourn his father up in Canada.  For Rich’s family as they gather to meet and remember him.  For students who are finishing up projects, papers and are preparing for exams, especially Ray.  

Dear God, the needs are numerous and these are but a few of those I know.  The needs reach beyond individuals and into those lives that surround them.  Bring peace, comfort and healing to hearts, minds and bodies as their needs are met with you.  Amen.

Surprises!

This morning I took a drive down to my parents’ place to surprise them for Dad’s birthday and an early Mother’s Day.  I knew that the 100 mile garage sale around Lake Pepin was going to keep Dad busy in the garage, but I wanted to go spend some time with him.  Driving from Minneapolis, where the grass is beginning to green up, I reached the area around Hampton and saw the ground covered in snow.  The further south and east I traveled, the deeper the snow!  And yet, there were some bright green patches peeking out periodically along the route.  There were many trees along highway 61 that were broken in the recent snowstorm…their branches could not withstand one more heavy coating.  No one suspected it was me driving into the yard because so many cars were in and out and many look alike, so I was able to surprise Dad, then Mom and then their friends, Marge and Bob.  What fun!  When I headed back north this afternoon, the sun had broken through the clouds, speeding the melting snow and warming my car for the return drive.  

Dear Lord, thank you for the ability to surprise my folks today, for giving me a pleasant and safe drive and for some quality time singing at the top of my lungs with some of my favorite music.  I thought back to earlier in the week when I was reminded of the fragility of life and when I prayed about how often we take “I love you” for granted.  Thanks for giving me an opportunity to say it to my first loves, face to face, today.  Amen.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my dad’s 81^st birthday.  Wow.  That’s pretty amazing when you think about how much the world has changed over the course of his life.  Last year we were busy working on a big party for him.  We made a video invitation to his “Red Solo Cup” party.  The party brought people from all around the country because, really, people wanted to celebrate his life WITH him instead of in honor of him.  Pretty amazing.  

Dear God, I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to spend so much time with my dad and that, generally, our relationship is healthy.  He has been inspirational to me in many ways, and has had much to do with me being the strong woman I have become.  Thank you for keeping him healthy and able to do the many things he enjoys.  Bless him this day and each one that comes for him, for us who share this world with him.  Amen.

Stuff

What is the value of the things which with we surround ourselves?  This computer, for example, is a broad window to the world where I can be a part of something “bigger” through spending time looking at a screen instead of looking out of a window or walking out of a door and experiencing something even “bigger.”  This week, as a result of losing a part of my school community to death, I begin to look more closely at the value of relationships.  Facebook is a unique way to be in relationships, but it cannot replace the act of physical contact or of an actual conversation—whether face to face or on the phone.  I spend too much time in front of this computer screen and I sometimes let it take time away from the one to one moments with the people with whom I share my life—my family, friends, classmates.  I rely on this medium to stay in touch with people all around the country, and there is definitely value in this, but when relationships are affected by the imbalance of screen and face time, I need to examine my motivation.  A death this week of a man whom I was just beginning to know has shaken me, reminded me, that time is not guaranteed, that relationships need tending, that “I love you” is never, ever said enough. 

Dear God, help me to pay better attention to the people with whom I walk through life.  I know that each day is a gift, but I sometimes forget to unwrap the package to fully see what is being presented.  I need you to motivate me to strip away the tissue paper that veils my view.  I know I am responsible, but I am weak.  Help me.  Amen.

Moving Forward Does Not Mean Moving On

After yesterday’s shocking news, I awoke today with an awareness that I still have to move forward, live life today and do what needed to be done.  That doesn’t mean I had to move on from shock, grief and sadness.  The depth of sorrow I was reading from classmates grounded me in community, even from the comfort of my home.  Recalling the tears and silence of yesterday, many wanted to ensure that they expressed love and appreciation to one another.  We were reminded that no one is promised today.  That the way we process grief is as individual as each of us.  Feeling relief knowing that Rich’s wife will be arriving from Japan soon eased some of my anxiety.  Learning of a special service to be held next week provides the opportunity to join together to just ‘be’ as a community experiencing loss.  

Dear Lord, this day was a gift where many learned how to articulate emotions, camaraderie, memories and community.  We found this at seminary.  We’ve made friends and have learned from one another, all because we were called to some sort of ministry and were led to this place to develop the skills needed to do the unique vocations designed for each of us.  The relationships we have developed are part of what we need to be effective leaders, pastors and teachers.  Thank you for giving us this place, this place where we are to become more than we were before walking through these holy doors.  Amen.