Deacon Debbie

It has been nearly a week since ordination.  This morning I read Bishop Brian Prior’s reflections of the day:

FROM THE BISHOP'S BLOG

Ordination: Being Present to God's Holy Presence

Dear Friends, Sitting in the beautiful Kellogg room, we talked about how important it was to be present to the Presence, even amidst all the distractions around us. On "grace-filled cue", at that very moment, a very large truck came by and filled the room with noise. I, of course, took full advantage and said, "There will always be a lot of noise around us - we are called to be present to God's Presence." A few short hours later, "cloistered" away from the joyous ruckus that was going on just down the hallway, we spent most of our time in quiet, at times silence. As we ended our final prayers, I once again invited them to be present to the moment that was to take place, and to hold holy silence.  Standing now some 100 feet behind a gregarious group of clergy, all those behind me were not distracted by the noise, but rather present to God's presence and all that was before them.  Holy moments can often be lost on all sorts of details and distractions. It is so easy to get caught up in what cries the loudest for our attention, rather than staying focused on the small, quiet voice that calls our name. Through the years, many a clergy have confessed to me that Sunday morning worship is anything but that; they often end up feeling more like an event organizer, rather than the one to invite the gathered to prayer.  Yet, for our incredible 16 newly ordained, even amidst the full gamut of their own emotions and surrounded by the sweet sounds of anxiously awaiting family and friends, they were present to God's Holy Presence; an experience I pray that will carry them forward as they go forth to a world filled with noise and distractions from that small quiet voice calling their names. Blessings,        +Brian Though I may have experienced my holy moments in a slightly different way, these reflections are quite accurate.  I would add a level of nervousness coupled with an air of celebration, points of confidence in what I have understood to be my calling partnered with the reality of a goal, dream and prayers being realized (with all the complexities and unknowns that accompany it!). The Bishop lays his hands on me as I am ordained. Last night, with friends, I was asked how it feels to be ordained.  In many ways it feels no different.  The life I live has nearly always been dependent upon God and a feeling of being embraced by the Holy comforts me.  Now there is a greater sense of responsibility, particularly when wearing the clergy collar.  But simply wearing such a visible sign of my call does not make me more or less a child of God.  It doesn't give me a fast track to heaven or a private ear with God.  Everyone has these!  What wearing a collar does do is announce to the world that I am ordained, that I should be someone to whom another can come for prayer, blessing, assistance and to talk.  It means that I have made promises to God, my Bishop and my Church to live a holy and Godly life.  It announces that I should be someone who can see Jesus in others and who should understand that even when we fall short, we are all children of God. Bishop Brian and Deacon Debbie I have many more months of complex educational opportunities and expectations before I am ordained a priest.  I am living in limbo as I wait to learn where I will be placed to do my transitional diaconal training.  I ask for your prayers that I will be placed in a church where I will learn and grow in and with my call.  I ask for your prayers that I will persevere through the next months of my educational responsibilities so I will graduate in April with my Masters of Divinity.  I ask for your prayers as I prepare and then practice during my Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) where I will work in (likely) a hospital as a chaplain.

Letting Go, a Little at a Time...

This past Saturday, we celebrated our daughter with her graduation party.  We were blessed with the MOST gorgeous day in a week and were surrounded by loving family and friends, faithful and supportive members of our church and neighbors new and familiar.  We saw family members we haven’t seen in years.  We laughed, caught up and ate.  And though the people I know best were the ones I spent the least amount of time with, I know that the day was spent well, the preparation was worth every hour and Erin was surrounded with people who love her and are cheering her on as she ventures forth into the world into a new life and with opportunities to experience!

She’s our youngest child.  It’s been an interesting year, getting to this moment.  I've talked about not the empty nest but the revolving door I fully expect will be our lives for the next few years.  Our son moved out in April after getting through nearly two years at a community college and working full time.  It has been an adjustment, but it hasn't been as hard as I expected.  It was time.  With our daughter I think it will be different, but still not as hard as it could be, for she is also ready.

I see the potential our kids have in the choices made throughout their lives.  We have opened doors to them—the travel bug, music appreciation and participation, love of books and movies, good educational opportunities that met their personalities—and they will thrive in these things and will continue to learn about themselves and their dreams and their potential.  They have God with them, whether or not they want to admit that fact.  We've raised really good, smart, capable kids to this point.  What we have to do now is trust that they can and will be really good, smart and capable adults.

There was an article about empty nests posted today:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grown-and-flown/knowing-my-sons-a-little-_b_5498622.html.  There was an interesting insight in this article by a mom whose youngest just graduated.  She says that what she is sad about is that she will know a little less about her sons as they move forward in their lives.  I get that.  When you have been immersed in loving and living and giving and receiving for so many years and it all seems to abruptly change with the emptying of their room and the drive to their new nest (however permanent), you begin to understand that you won’t see the daily changes of your child.  You are going to miss milestones and memories and you will have to trust in social media or texts or phone calls to know about your child’s life.  And, it’s okay.  It’s simply different.  The reality will remain:  “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”

We will all change with this freedom, our relationships will become something more adult, and yet, as a parent, I hope that I can be the port of refuge when the storm rages as much as the first phone call with the “best news ever!” at least for a little while longer.

Oh Heavenly Father, you blessed us with two humans to love, to raise up, to send off and I am ever thankful.  They are two of the most important loves in my life.  I will miss them when they are gone from the daily of my life, but I know that you hold them in your hands and that you will always love them even more than I.  Thank you for these gifts.  Amen.

Festival Day Three

“Daring to Dream,” “Preachin’ that drives folk crazy,” “Fools for Christ:  The Sermon as Weapons of Subversion,” “Jesus of Nazareth will Rock Your World,” and “The Strange Silence of Biblical Women” are the topics that held my attention today at the Festival of Homiletics.

I was brought up believing that dreams keep people alive.  Today, Luke Powry confirmed it.  He said in his sermon that “to dream is to live; NOT dreaming leads to death.”  His text came from the story of Joseph, the dreamer who translated dreams.  Powry referenced Martin Luther King Jr. who we all know “had a dream.”  MLK showed us that “Dreamers know that some dreams will be unfulfilled.” And that dreaming can be dangerous.  Why?  Because through dreams, “God flips life on its head.”  As leaders, we need to start with our dreams…not our goals or plans.  Powry asked, “Are you dreaming about God’s plan?”  He said that we all need to “Dream on…God isn't finished with you yet!”

Bishop Michael Curry, of North Carolina was astounding!  He gave a talk (Preachin’…) and later preached (Jesus…).  Who likes change?  Change engenders resistance—it takes growth to change—often the instruments of change are considered crazy—non-conformity to the status quo always looks like insanity.  With all of this talk of change, Curry said, “We need some crazy Christians;” our “ecclesial sanity is killing us!”  To be Holy is to dare to be different.   When we change our attitude from living in the world’s nightmares to living the dreams of God we open ourselves to understanding Incarnation and Transformation:  Through incarnation God came into the world as Jesus to change (transform) the world into the dream God intended.

Talk about change, Peter Rollins, from Belfast, really pointed out human nature.  We have ideological systems that tell us what is acceptable or unacceptable.  In those ideologies we know the right way of being wrong.  He used the character “Jester,” that person who is able to transgress, to make fun of the royalty, mocking but still supporting the royals.  The character, “Trickster,” is one who transgresses against the system.  This is the one who tells us what we know we don’t want to know.  Like in AA, the first step is admitting the problem.  Admitting the problem, bringing up what is repressed, becomes the agent of change.  Another way of explaining it is that we tend to fear people who will tell us what we already know, but don’t want to see, or to be exposed to ourselves.  He said “only real change can begin to happen when we admit the repressed parts of ourselves.”  He challenged us to find ways to “open ourselves to our own suffering and then find a space of exorcism.”  Rollins ended his talk asking us, “Where can we find a place where the pastor invites radical honesty?”  I wonder how we can be transformed when we admit our truths.

In his sermon, Curry was back at the tomb where, in Matthew 28:1-10, the women are there to roll the stone away and the earth quakes.  The writer of Matthew used the image of the earthquake a number of times to express the changing world—the upending of what people knew.  Through the resurrection, the world is shaken, broken open and changed.  There were women at the tomb, right?  Curry talked about the disciples.  Can you name all of them?  Can you give any information about each of them?  How about the women who were around Jesus; can you name them?  Can you tell the stories about them?  I bet your list of women is more complete than the men.  Women were important!  They were so important, said Curry, that “if we didn't have women disciples we may not have ever known that the brother was raised from the dead!”  Think about that.

Then John Bell, of Scotland, talked about Biblical Women.  He admitted that it took him most of his life to understand that women and men read texts differently.  Thinking about this, when we look at the stories women in the Bible, Bell realized that “God does not want women to be compliant handmaids.”  He went through a list of many of the women of the Bible and explained or described the strength each woman brings to the stories.  Turning the focus toward the women and what really do rather than what they are known as makes the stories bigger and even more profound.  Go back to the question above.  How many female followers of Jesus can you describe?  Is it more than the men?  What is it about those women’s stories that impact the way you understand your faith?

I don’t know that I could have planned the sequence of the day better.  The whole day was about change.  We often fear it, even though it is the constant in the world.  We dream, but with the fulfillment of dreams come change and in change we can be transformed when we look at ourselves, our churches, our communities, honestly.  Sometimes all it takes is looking at something in a new way.  It’s people like these four men who can articulate God’s dreams for us, that we need to inspire us to accept the possibilities!