I've been asked a number of times how it feels to be
ordained. I’m sure that the question is
asked because people don’t really know what to say to someone in this position
at this point in time, but it has given me something to consider and ponder
over these past few weeks. I think I may
have mentioned in my last post that, to me, ordination only means that there
has been a public recognition through the laying on of hands of the ministry I
have lived for a long time. The act of
ordination didn't change me; it affirmed the call I believe I have experienced
to ordained ministry. My responsibility
to God and to creation is no different than before, it has only been made more
public—especially if I wear a collar.
So that has brought up another set of questions. When do I wear a collar? How will I use this form of “uniform” as a
part of my ministry? When is it
appropriate to wear it or not? At this
moment in time, as a transitional deacon who is without a placement, I don’t
wear a collar unless I have been invited to serve in some capacity for or with
a faith community. I did that my first
Sunday at my home parish, where I was asked to serve at the altar. This past Sunday I did not wear a collar at
my parents’ church because I was a member of the congregation. It is important for me to have an opportunity
to worship when I can on a Sunday morning, and I will relish in these
blessings.
I think a collar on a clergy person can either be a magnet
or a repellent for people on the street, so I think it is important to know
what role I am in when I choose whether or not to wear my collar. It makes me think a little bit more about
other things that identify my faith, like window clings in my car that identify
that I am an Episcopalian and that I have connections to United Theological
Seminary (one cannot assume I am a student just because of the cling). These, too, are very public marks that
identify someone in this particular vehicle.
Wearing a collar or displaying a window cling may or may not
create an expected behavior, but because I have them I have a responsibility to
a public behavior as well as a private relationship with God. What these things do not mean is that I am
perfect or that I don’t experience doubt or I don’t have questions about
faith. Faith is filled with mystery, it
is something that can always be in a state of development, it is personal even
when it is practiced in community, and it is a gift.
Dear God, help me to be the servant you have called me to
be. Give me opportunities to see your
mystery in the world and to find ways to explore it. Teach me, guide me and love me as I use the
gifts you have given to me to be a public servant to the people you place in my
path. You are my God. Amen.