I just started reading a book that I would identify as
“fun,” but I think it may actually be very helpful as a way for me to begin to
formulate, create and construct my theology—that huge project that is weighing
on my mind, but is rendering my fingers stiff.
The book is by licensed psychologist, Rachel Awes. She has taken, with permission, phrases
spoken by her clients that have taught her about life and has written and
illustrated All I Did Was Listen.
Her artwork uses reds, burnt oranges, purples and avocado
greens. She fills in the holes of hand
written letters. She takes a phrase and
makes it a three or four paragraph story that puts life into perspective, makes
the reader think and, perhaps, work on some of those things that many struggle
with at different points in life.
It’s profound stuff, even in its simplicity. I've only read the first chapter, “Messiness
Inside,” and I feel a kindred spirit with her and her clients. “We’re all broken and it’s more what we do
with it that matters.” Yes! I am broken.
I sometimes feel lost, out of control, like no one understands me, and
incapable of anything more than the simplest of tasks. How I react to these feelings, how I grow,
how I learn from them…these are the things that matter. I can stay, stuck in my brokenness, or I can
collect the shards and find the best way to put them back together—sometimes neatly;
other times creating a new piece of the art of me; sometimes leaving a hole
where a piece has disappeared. She says
it like this, “Affirm how the pieces of your life are being picked up as you
pick them up.” Profound.
There are no page numbers in this book, and I've only read
the first chapter. I think I have to
make more time with this book, use the wisdoms shared by so many individuals,
and grow. I believe that my fingers may
have more flexibility and I may be able to begin to form the words to describe
my relationship to theology. Sometimes
we find what we need in the last place we would consider looking.
O Heavenly One, thank you for placing the things we need
within our reach if only we are willing to stretch out and take the risks
needed to embrace them. Amen.