Our internet router is not reliable. Or perhaps it is intentionally making us take a break from our screen time and is forcing us to have some face time with one another. Either way, it sometimes rules the way our time is spent staying connected, working, playing games or learning. The way our bodies work also affects the way we live. When our iron content is low or we are dehydrated our energy can be zapped, forcing us to take a break. When we keep our bodies and minds active we have more energy to do more things. Lack of sleep, a sore back and an achy ear can slow me down, but it doesn't shut me out of living. It’s about what we depend on to keep us going.
What rules our time? Who rules our time? This month I have had more time—no classes, no travel, no mission trip—so I've been able to give of my time to help with the upcoming move I've mentioned in previous posts. I want to do this, but I am also struggling with doing this. Because I have availability to do much of the prep work required for a move, it makes sense that I do what I can to make the actual move easier by being prepared. I’m making decisions that may not be mine to make, but need to be made. I’m asking difficult questions that need answers sooner than later. There are some amounts of time that I cannot control—like the availability of others to get the move done and the day she can begin to live in the new apartment; or the fact that these days do not coincide.
There are other things that need my time as well, like managing a household, being a parent and a spouse. And I also need to take care of myself, preparing for a new academic year and some big changes in my church program year. There are still tennis matches and marching band parades and football half-time shows to attend, not because I have to but because I want to watch as our daughter does things that bring her joy, challenging her and motivating her as she enters her senior year of high school.
So these things rule much of my time. And some of the time, I get to rule my time, other times I have to be willing to work with the schedules of others and submit to allowing my time to be ruled by others.
But my time spent in prayer is both my and God’s time. We share the moments, each of us listening and each of us talking. Sometimes we share silence, letting the sounds around us move us into further communion with one another. As long as there is this time, then I hope I can make it through all those other times when something or someone is ruling my time.
Dear God, I depend on, count on and need my moments with you to ground me when time is out of my control. I lean on you for strength and ask for wisdom when I feel trapped by time. Remind me when I have chosen to give of my time that it is a willing gift, especially when the gift begins to feel like a burden. You are my strength, and it is in your hands I put my trust. Amen.